Sunny Sanguinity

Moving Day Checklist: Update your RSS feed

2010-06-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's moving day here at Sunny Sanguinity. I plan on leaving my blog here for posterity and nostalgia and the occasional weird post.

And hey, who knows? I'm not saying goodbye. I'm just moving forward.

So update your RSS feed here. And if you don't know about the magic of RSS feeds, then check it.

Thanks to everyone for reading. And I hope you move with me!

Movie Clip Monday--Food makes all the difference

2010-05-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Whenever I get home from grocery shopping (which is almost daily), I think to myself, Happiness is a full fridge. Food is on the bottom level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You can't do much of anything without it.

I've been working with a great charity for the past month and wanted to share it. Food For Children is a branch of my local food bank. And every dollar they get provides five meals for children. And not just canned pantry items. Half of that is fresh produce. The stuff that smells and tastes oh! So good!

This video has some great interviews with families who benefit from the program. There are also some kids claiming that their favorite foods are broccoli and carrots. How fantastic is that?

I encourage everyone to donate time or money if they're able. If you're not from the area, you can find your local food bank here. Kids are out of school, so now is a great opportunity to help keep their refrigerators (and stomachs) full.

My blog is moving! Check is out at www.sunnysanguinity.com. Thanks for reading!

Who doesn't love a change of heart?

2010-05-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me recently if I was fickle. I had to think about it. When I looked it up, the definition was inconsistent and given to change. But it came from an old English word that meant deceitful.

What I want to know is when did changing become a bad thing? There is an inherent difference between lying and changing your mind.

I guess one could say "Wait. I changed my mind, I did steal your lunch," but I think most of us can all agree that that is deceit. And just downright wrong. Who steals lunch?!?

I think fickle has gotten a bad rap. I've heard La donna è mobile. I know what people are saying about women and apparently spring. (*Gasp* And it's my favorite season!)

And it's true. I propose that being changeable makes you able to evolve and move throughout life. If nothing was able to change, there wouldn't be butterflies, humans would cower at lightning, and I wouldn't be writing this blog.

So I proudly answer the question: Damn straight I'm fickle!

I'm moving! Check out www.sunnysanguinity.com for my new blog!

Movie Clip Monday (not for the faint of heart)

2010-05-17T10:21:00.000-07:00

I just spent the week in New York City, so I thought it only fitting that I post something related to the Big Apple. And what better than a little Saturday Night Live? (Fair warning to those who don't like controversial material; this could offend you.)

It can be tough being born with a virtuous look. A coworker of mine put it in an interesting way: "The package you come in is sweet and innocent."

I understand Natalie's need to prove she's not so sweet. It's why I came back from New York with a black eye. And while I'd like to say, "You should see the other guy," it's more like, "I fought the table, and the table won."

Klutzy, unable to hold my liquor, and sweet. Well, I guess there are worse things to be.

I'm moving! Check out my new blog at www.sunnysanguinity.com.

Movie Clip Monday or I heart Conan

2010-05-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not a huge celebrity freak. I don't know who is dating who or read Us Weekly (Unless I'm getting my hair done. What is it about salons and celebrity magazines?), but I really love Conan O'Brien. I think he's hilarious. And he's a ginger. I'm a sucker.

So while this is 40-odd minutes long, it's pretty funny. Just push play and have it on in the background. Guaranteed Conan kicking it at Google will make you laugh. Laughing is awesome.

Time for a makeover!

2010-05-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

So it's been a wild ride here at Sunny Sanguinity. When I started this bad boy, I didn't even know how to say sanguinity, but it has come to mean a lot to me (and increase my vocabulary).

The thing is, it's pretty much looked the same since I imported my MySpace blog into it in 2007. To quote my dear friend Iain, "It's so...pink!" So I'm thinking it's time for a change. *cue David Bowie music*

If anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears. Different colors? Fonts? Features? Hot chicks? You know, whatever. Thanks in advance for any input you have!

Cut your mirror some slack

2010-05-04T06:39:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine recently joined a pilates group at her gym. She loved it. She sang its praises! Naturally, I agreed. Then the gym changed the space where her group met.

She was bummed about the new space because it was full of mirrors. "Before I could imagine I looked cool doing pilates," she said. "Now I just see how much I have to improve."

Earlier that same week I had covered one of my mirrors with photographs because I was so tired of constantly critiquing my workout. And I'm no beginner.

It got me thinking about reflections and how much credit we give them. When I look in the mirror, I'm only seeing an image. It's not me; it's backwards me.

Reflections are good teachers. They can guide you. But they are no substitute for the real thing. Only we can make our reflections move.

I propose we give our reflections a break and start believing what our minds see. You're a natural at pilates. My belt looks great with these jeans. Every day is a good hair day. I'd be willing to bet our reflections will follow suit.

A dreamy movie clip Monday

2010-05-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

A coworker told me how she explained dreams to her son. "A dream is magic in your brain," she said.

I like that explanation. I also dig Cinderella's. A dream is a wish your heart makes. Oh man, my heart has some crazy wishes! It's gonna be a wild ride when they come to pass. Wait, it already is a pretty wild ride! Life is good.

Monday (has a feel) Movie-ish Clip

2010-04-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

"It feels like Tuesday."

"Tuesday has no feeling." To this I disagree. Although I try to treat every day equally, I tend to agree that certain days have a feeling. I think this comes from years of doing the same things on the same days.

So I am going to try to shake things up. I worked on Saturday this weekend. I'm thinking about going out during the week. I woke up at the time I would normally go to work on Sunday. I say, let's change up the week! Thank God it's Monday!

April birthdays rock: Happy birthday Dad!

2010-04-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

I was born a week before my dad's birthday. I like to call myself his birthday present. I'm trying to remember a year where we haven't been close in proximity during this time. It's cool, though. He and my mom are coming to visit in a week.

In honor of my dad's birthday, here are a few things that remind me of him.

Swings

I don't remember how many times my sisters and I would beg him to give us "one more underdog!" I remember him hanging the swing from the tree in our backyard. When one of the strings broke, he replaced it with red rope.

Our duplex had an awesome front porch swing. And as toddlers we would swing so far we put holes in the stucco. If my dad really got mad about it, I don't remember. The holes were still there the last time I was at the house.

Bikes

My dad taught me how to ride a bike. He ran behind me in the alley holding the back of my bike seat. If I sit still long enough, I can hear his footsteps running behind me.

Once my dad's bike got stolen. It was a sweet old red Schwinn ten-speed. I think it may have broken his heart a little bit. It's for this reason that I always lock my bike. It was a lesson he learned for me. Thanks pops!

Games

"What will you give me if I make this shot?" Dad would ask as we stood in the back alley playing basketball. As usual, my sarcastic 12-year-old self would say something like, "My undying respect." Damn I was (am?) a firecracker!

Tennis. Basketball. Baseball. Waterskiing. Swimming. Softball. Broomball. Diving. Hell, he even got into hockey. If he could do it (or if you could), the man was probably interested.

Spaghetti

I'm not quite sure how the story goes, but once upon a time my father was courting my mother and offered to make her a nice meal. He made her spaghetti.

Then they had kids and he fed them spaghetti. It doesn't matter how many years it has been since my dad actually cooked me this meal, when I make spaghetti I think of him.

Drives

With my dad, a drive was always the answer. It's a beautiful day! Let's enjoy it on a drive. It's been a tough week, let's forget it with a drive. You're in trouble. Let's discuss it on a drive.

Imagine my dismay in moving to the city where "going on a drive" meant nothing more than increased blood pressure. Yet, when it was the most important, my dad made it work. When I told him about my divorce, he drove all the way to the cities to see me. And in the car he said one of the best things a daughter can hear from her father. He said: No matter what you do, I will always love you. So even if we couldn't quite get the drive right, it was the moment that mattered.

Dad, happy birthday. I hope you have an amazing day. And here's to a year better than any one you have ever had before!

Ahoy! I sail! I'm a sailor! I sail! (aka Movie Clip Monday!)

2010-04-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we have an opportunity to do something we've never done before. These things can be frightening; perhaps they seem impossible. But if it's front of you, I say Go for it! Who knows how awesome it will make you feel?

Although I don't recommend tying yourself to the mast of a sailboat if you decide to go sailing, like Bob does in this scene in What About Bob? Sailboats tip over often. It could be unfortunate. So maybe if you have the opportunity to do something new, do some research too. And then go for it!

Happy birthday to me!

2010-04-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday week. Hell, it's my birthday month! I've always been a big fan of birthdays--it's like your own little holiday.

I'm not huge on gifts. That's not to say I won't accept them. I guess I just prefer the gift of someone's company to anything that can be purchased from a store. And I won't turn down a beer either.

But since it's my birthday week, I feel like I can get away with going down my wish list. I already have a few people committed to helping me with this; I hope you're in too.

I want:

Success in whatever we all strive to do. Let's meet our goals. Let's be as awesome as possible.
More friendly moments. Let's be nicer to store clerks, bank tellers, wait staff, people you pass on the street, census agents, and fellow drivers (even the morons).
Honesty. If you can't make it, don't say you can. If you want to know if that outfit makes you look fat, be prepared to hear yes. Let's be real.
Nuclear disarmament. Hey! It's my birthday wish list.
More green moments. Let's walk to the store. Hold your nose, empty, wash and recycle that old plastic dish in the fridge.
A few more questions. Remember when conventional wisdom said the earth was flat? There's gotta be more of that out there. Let's find it!
Love. Embrace the love you have. Extend the love you give.

The more we want for everyone, the more we will all have. I know this is my birthday wish list, but I'd like to think it benefits many. If you're in, thanks for playing! If not, I hope to see you the next time the game comes around.

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-04-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like you're getting pushed around? I say speak up and do what's good for you! I don't necessarily condone crashing into parked cars, but sometimes you have to be a bit forceful to get your point across.

I wish I still owned Fried Green Tomatoes. I only had it on VHS. I think it's going on the Netflix queue. (I also cried when Chris O'Donnell died. That was before Batman & Robin.)

Superwomen need love too

2010-04-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

Oh Christina. How I love thee. I'm stoked for your next album, Bionic, mostly because you get it. Women ARE superheroes, and once in a while we are bionic.

You've been an inspiration to me through some tough years. You march to the beat of your own drum. And when my rhythm section went quiet, I cranked yours up. You rock, girl! You definitely make it onto my superhero list.

Here's to all the women who make the world a better and different place. Show those women your love and appreciation. They may make it look easy, but we all need encouragement, love and affection. It's superhero fuel. That and candy.

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-04-05T17:55:00.001-07:00

In honor of opening day, here's a scene from A League of Their Own, one of my favorite movies about baseball. And I love Lori Petty.

But really, what always always sticks with me is this great line. I'm pretty sure I've used it hundreds of times. "There's no crying in baseball!" Once again, Tom Hanks is brilliant.

Every Friday should be Good Friday

2010-04-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's Easter. Well, actually it's Easter tomorrow. Right now, JC is still kickin' around whether he wants to rise from the dead.

I really wish that Easter was like Christmas. Not in the whole buy-lotsa-gifts way, but in the permeate-my-life-for-months way. It'd be great if people decorated their houses, Easter songs were played on the radio non-stop and we all walked around saying "Happy holidays!"

Alas, that is not the case. But I did see this on a car today, and it made me smile. Happy holidays everybody!

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-03-29T13:47:00.000-07:00

In keeping with the Easter theme, here is Will Ferrell's prayer to Tiny Baby Jesus.

Easter Jesus is a little more solemn than Baby Jesus, so I thought i would add a little laughter. Plus Easter Jesus would probably love this movie.

I like to picture my JC waxing poetic around a bonfire making s'mores. Wouldn't that be awesome? I'd toast my marshmallow all perfect and let him eat it because he burned his. He may have been patient with sinners, but he was never good at waiting for sweets.

God loves the Easter Bunny

2010-03-26T16:12:00.000-07:00

I love Easter. Spring is here. Baseball season is starting. My birthday is always around that time. And lilacs smell amazing...

But really, let's not forget the most important part: Cadbury Eggs!! While I can say that I've grown up in a few ways, these will forever remind me of being a kid and eating them with my dad.

Delicious. And Sante bought me a 4 pack even though he can't eat any (damn that lactose)! Now that's a good man.

Are priorities supposed to be straight?

2010-03-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Lately this word has come up a lot. It ties in to that elusive balance I try to achieve. What are your priorities?

It's funny in a way that once you have a family and a house and a job, your priorities are pretty much set out for you. Not that having that stuff and balancing it is easy; it just seems easier to decide what's important to you.

No one is going to question you when you say your biggest priority is your child. Or paying your mortgage. But they might look at you a little funny when you tell them your biggest priority of the year is being a grocery store cashier. Or eating every Dairy Queen Blizzard of the Month.

But then again, who knows what kind of crazy antics of mine (or others like me) will turn into thousands of years from now? What makes sense? More importantly: Who cares? Just Be!

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-03-22T15:22:00.000-07:00

When one writes for a living, one often comes up against the dreaded writer's block. And while it's hard to see the positive side of the coin with this problem, I take comfort in the fact that my mental state is capable of handling it.

It could be worse, couldn't it? I could be Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining.

I will say this: I've caught up on my e-mails and my html knowledge is getting better by the hour.

Why so serious?

2010-03-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of Spring. The Equinox. Y'know, balance of light and dark and what-have-you. Usually I come up with some elaborate celebration that involves fires and ceremony and all that.

This year I didn't plan anything. Not purposely, mind you, but because it kinda snuck up on me. What ended up happening? French toast breakfast, motorcycle to the lake, hang out in the forest all day, ride back through the mountains, glorious BBQ chicken dinner, fall into bed exhausted.

(A special thank you to Sante, who rode all over the mountains, through trees and on bumpy roads just to make me happy. Well, and I think he likes it too. You rule.)

I've never been one for planning, unless it's something I think is really important. But lately I've been learning that importance is relative. And you should never take yourself too seriously.

A tree hugger's ode

2010-03-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line I started realizing that trees were talking to me. I believe in the magic of trees. They're graceful, patient, resilient, and wise. No matter where I go, they never fail to humble me...

Here I am in the forests in northern Washington, where I think I first learned that cigarette butts were actually garbage. (Still working on bring *that* karma bank account back to zero!)

Trondheim's trees were so wild they wanted to give me a hug. And they were in a cemetery.

Oh Minneapolis. The tree canopies over busy Lyndale Avenue in the fall will never fail to make me smile.

It's all green and mossy--how fitting for a tree in Ireland! It's as if it's wearing a tree fleece.

This one told me a few secrets. I'm headed back to Big Sur for a second installment one of these days.

To all the trees in the world: You know I love you, but I just wanted to give you a little shout out. You make every day! (And you make tons of oxygen...gracias!)

Movie...erm...Music Clip Monday!

2010-03-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

OK so it's not a movie, but damn it's cool!

I'm a mean machine, been drinking gasoline" Have you drank Nighttrain? Might as well be gasoline...

Remember when Guns 'N' Roses was cool?

(Skip the ranting and talking and move the timer to 1:45 for some kick-ass music!)

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-03-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

Love is all around. My friends are in love. I'm in love. Spring is in the air :)

"I came here tonight, because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

*Happy sigh*

I may dress up for the Oscar party after all

2010-03-04T18:33:00.001-08:00

I've never been into the Oscars. Award shows are silly fodder. Bread and circuses, right? But today I saw a nominee for best animated short, and I think I may actually care who wins in this category.

I know it's 16 minutes long, but it will be worth every minute. Watch it twice. The first time I saw it was like the first time I read Tom Robbins: You mean, other people think like that too?

Klikhierhetvideo filmpjetebekijken

Even if it doesn't win, I would have probably never heard of this short if it weren't for the Oscars. So I guess maybe award shows aren't all bad.

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-03-01T09:37:00.000-08:00

Growing up as a kid this was one of my favorite movies. And I had the hugest crush on Michael J. Fox.

This movie just fueled my fascination with time and one's ability to manipulate it. It's been two decades (wow, really?) since this movie came out and I still love it. And Doc Brown is hilarious.

What kind of a name is February anyway?

2010-02-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

Thank the Universe that February is only 28ish days long. For whatever reason, I got my ass kicked this month. That's not always a bad thing. In fact, none of it was. Change is stress. Even good change.

I kicked off my work blog at the beginning of the month. It's such a good time. And I get paid, which is a total bonus.

I moved to a new place. Bigger. Warmer. Closer to work. Solid.

I booked a last-minute trip to surprise my best friend. In order to do that I had to work some odd hours. Totally worth it, but I'm still shaking the feeling that I should be working every free moment I have.

I accepted my death. It sounds dramatic, I know, but having a major health scare will do that to you. And I'm stoked to say that everything is A-OK for now! I'm so happy to have a good support system around me.

So long February. It's been real. It's been fun. I am soooo looking forward to March! Here's to spring training baseball, Daylight Savings Time, and St. Patty's Day!

2010-02-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

In honor of the winter Olympics, here is a trailer from The Cutting Edge. OK I know it's not a movie clip, but it was one of my favorite movies of all time as a youngster. It combines two of my favorite winter sports: hockey and figure skating. I think I might have to go out and rent it!

Life Goal No. 14

2010-02-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

It's a life goal of mine to see the Olympics. I'm not picky. Any Olympic event will do. Any place in the world will do. Every few years I revisit this goal when the games come on TV.

The Olympics are some of the coolest events in the world because originally they were created to honor the Greek gods, all sorts of amazing athletes show up and it's one of the few times the world comes together to celebrate something positive.

My best girlfriend from Norway will watch her friends compete in downhill skiing events in Vancouver today. How insanely awesome is that?!? She asked me to go, but I told her I just couldn't swing it.

What she doesn't know is that her friend is picking me up at the airport on their way out of Seattle (she thinks her friend is picking up some clients) before they drive to Vancouver. Today. At 3pm.

Oh. My. God. I can't tell you how impossible of a secret this was to keep. Fulfilling a life goal, traveling to a new city AND surprising my best friend I haven't seen in three months? AHHHH!!! I am so excited and I just want to share it with everyone! Life is good!

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-02-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

There are times when I wonder what people are thinking. I question authority. I don't buy everything I read (and I haven't even read everything I've bought).

Then I remember that it could be worse. I'm a woman in a time where I'm just viewed as "a little crazy." I could have been born when this Monty Python sketch wouldn't have been far from reality. Bless this decade!

We interrupt this week's optimist message for a minor crisis of philosophy

2010-02-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago the big boss at work said I was too happy. And a few minutes later someone used the adjective "bubbly" to describe me. Between the two I was mildly disturbed, but I let it go.

Since then I had been wondering (especially in my quest for balance): Is too much optimism a bad thing? Can it be used as a defense mechanism? Is it synonymous with delusional? In other words, is denial more than just a river in Egypt?

I know it's "normal" to be sad sometimes. But I never said I was normal. I've just been wondering if maybe, in my journey toward the less extreme, I should consider being less optimistic.

As if to answer my question, a coworker put a quote from Mahatma Gandhi in front of me yesterday:

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive, because your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive, because your behavior become your habits.
Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.

I still have the question in my head, but it made me feel better. Thanks Gandhi!

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-02-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

Laughing so hard it hurts is awesome. Being around people who make you laugh rocks. When I'm looking for a quick laugh, this is the movie clip I reach for.

God bless Tom Hanks. I would seriously rewind (remember when movies came on a tape?) this scene over and over, laughing hysterically, gasping for air with tears rolling down my face. Those are the best moments.

Life's a roadtrip: Pay attention to the signs.

2010-02-04T19:16:00.000-08:00

Finding out a musician I just started getting into wrote a lot of the trashy pop songs I love

A week of sunshine when every forecaster saw rain

Blogging to pay the bills

Meeting a man who loves cookies as much as I do

May everyone be as blessed with happy accidents as I have been.

Movie Clip Monday!

2010-01-31T19:31:00.001-08:00

I've been in a Tank Girl mood for a good few months now, so I thought what better way to start off the week than with this clip? Lori Petty, you rock my world!

Oh, and I'm wearing gray kneehighs over fishnet stockings for the occasion.

Maybe the Me Generation was right all along

2010-01-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

While watching Julie and Julia (an excellent movie if you're thinking about renting it--Nora Ephron=genius.) the other day, someone posed a question to me: Are all successful people selfish?

My immediate answer: Yes.

I think selfishness has gotten a bad wrap. Even Merriam-Webster is out to get it! Perhaps I should submit an addendum to the definition, because I believe that selfishness is an integral part of mental health.

In order to be selfless, one has to be selfish. I can't save you from drowning if I don't know how to swim. My cooking skills suffer when I'm dying of starvation. In order for me to help you, I must first help myself.

I know that there are plenty of acts of selfishness that hurt people and destroy lives. I just think that some acts of selfishness are necessary and good as long as they don't harm others.

Radar Love

2010-01-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason I woke up a few mornings ago and read my good friend's horoscope. It seemed to be pertinent to her--all about new learning opportunities and such (she just started school)--so I sent it to her. She emailed me back saying, "This morning I woke up thinking I should ask you to send me my horoscope."

Last night I thought: My boyfriend should start the dishwasher. Two minutes later, he did.

This morning I was listening to a really silly pop song while writing my sister an email. On a whim I included the name and artist of the song, thinking she might like it. She later told me that she had an 8 a.m. dance party because of my email.

My friend and I have a phrase for these sort of things: It's weird but it's not.

We are all connected. If you listen to the "weird" impulses in your brain and believe what to some is unbelievable, you can all become mind readers.

Astigmatisms can't be blamed for lack of perspective

2010-01-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

Today I was tasked with inspiring my team at work. I introduced them to Littlewood's Law, which basically applies a little math to my idealistic attitude. I thought it was pretty good. What I didn't expect was for them to come up with a few of their own thoughts about it that blew my optimism out of the water. Bonus!

Last night my boyfriend gave me some constructive criticism and I actually listened. (What? I'm not perfect?!? This came as a shock to me as well.)

I've always said that I want to surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person. But I guess I've never really fully considered what that means. Wanting to be a better person is one thing. Becoming a better person is another. It involves admitting that others might know more than me and then changing to see their point of view. Or to at least consider it.

These things are uncomfortable and scary. All of this reminds me of a moment in As Good As It Gets.

I guess I just want to say thank you to everyone who is in my life in big and small ways. You make me want to be a better woman. And damn, I know it's hard because I'm stubborn and arrogant!

In turn, I encourage people to speak their minds and keep their perspectives. No one person thinks in the same way, and you never know whose life or heart you will touch with your thoughts.

Hope in all the right places

2010-01-08T06:46:00.000-08:00

I have a very strange fear of dying of dehydration. Most of the time this works out to my advantage, because I drink a lot of water and eat tons of fruits and veggies to stave off said death. But once in a while I have to face that fear. And this week I am: I've gone to the desert. Las Vegas to be exact.

Those who know me know that I've sworn off this place. I've been here several times, and it's not really my scene now. Alas, there is a trade show here, and I want to be involved. So here I am. Again.

Once I got here I knew tons of old memories would come flooding back. And I was right. But they weren't the memories I expected.

The last time I was here I had just turned 27 and swore to myself that I was going to do all those things I had set out to do in life. People say that all the time, but dammit! I was going to do it. I was about two months into it and honestly thought I wasn't doing too bad.

I wanted to get paid to write. At the time I worked at a job I hated and didn't do much writing beyond emails. These days, most of my job is writing, and I even get to play on Twitter and Facebook.

I wanted to be in better shape so I joined a gym and worked out a few days a week. The weekend I was in Vegas I certainly wasn't going to work out! This was Vegas for god's sake! This week I packed my workout clothes without even thinking about it.

I lived in Minnesota, the state I grew up in. No way in hell I was going to spend the rest of my life living there. Don't get me wrong, I love the place, but have you checked the weather lately? No thank you! I can't complain too much about the weather in California...because it's CALIFORNIA! Oh, and I call it home now. Sick!

I started blogging then, and I tried really hard to update regularly. But months would go by and nothing would be posted. Lately my posts have been weekly and usually on the same day. (OK, OK I am a few days late this week, but c'mon it's Vegas!)

The few days I have been in the desert has been nothing but encouraging. And at the beginning of the year, with new goals in mind, I think most people could use the encouragement.

So in that spirit, I encourage everyone who has begun a journey, big or small, to look for the positive influence in something they may not have considered, whether it be that person who never has anything good to say or a place with nothing but difficult memories. You may be surprised at what you encounter.

New Years' Blessings

2009-12-30T21:10:00.001-08:00

To those who resolved to lose weight this year: may you get through the tough times, avoid temptation and foster a great love for all things vegetable (without the butter).

To those who resolved to spend more time with loved ones: may you develop a knack for time management, the ability to say 'no' more often and an unwillingness to stay past 5pm at work.

To those who resolved to quit smoking: may you meet people who dislike cigarette smoke as much as you like it, seek other alternatives and not kill anyone.

For those who resolved to take a trip: may your savings account grow by leaps and bounds, your passport arrive unharmed and your layovers be short (but not too short).

The Fairy Godmother of New Years' Resolutions blesses all of your resolutions, big or small. Here's to dreams coming true in 2010!

All I needed to know this year I learned in 2009

2009-12-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

In the past few weeks my mailbox has been full of Christmas newsletters. My niece is having her first Christmas, my cousin shot three deer (mmm....venison) and another cousin is getting married (congrats Sarah and Dan!).

While some people find these a little self-important, (including myself when I let the cynic out of the basement), I think they serve a great purpose on keeping people up to date on life and also helping to reflect back on the year. It's with that in mind that I write my 2009 newsletter.

This year has been more about learning than any time I spent in college. I've stretched and grown in more ways than I thought were possible. Here are some highlights from what I've learned in 2009:

You can wear the same pair of jeans to both coasts of the United States without washing them. A weekend roadtrip to Washington D.C. for no real reason and a plane ride to L.A. to visit an old friend a week later proved that.

Be careful what you wish for. "I wish we could spend one more night in Dublin," I said to Jean sadly on our last night in Ireland. This led to the following lesson.

Most planning is unnecessary, except when it comes to travel. Oops! Did we miss our trans-Atlantic flight home? That happens. Right?

A lot of times, the right choice is the hardest choice. Saying goodbye to the comfort of my home, my city and my friends was one of the toughest things I've ever done. But I haven't regretted it for a second. Not even when I was really missing Wednesday girls night.

Be confident. Don't question yourself. There were a few times when I worried I wouldn't find a job, wouldn't make friends or would end up in the street like a real crazy lady. But I kept my chin up and believed in myself. Job? Check! Friends? Yes! Crazy lady? Always have been, but I'm still sleeping in a bed!

Make goals. Even if you don't accomplish them, you gain something in the process. My summer goal was to finagle a motorcycle ride. I didn't know anyone I wanted to sit behind on a bike, let alone trust with my life, but that was a minor detail. I ended up taking a great ride the weekend before Labor Day with a guy who would later end up being my unbelievably cool boyfriend. Bonus!

Just Be. This isn't a new one, but it's one to remember every year. If it weren't for the time I spent Just Be-ing, I wouldn't have learned any of the other stuff.

I want to say thank you to those who have read, commented, and thought about commenting on my blog. I appreciate everyone who has invested their time into something I've created. It means a lot. Happy holidays!

2009-12-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the Solstice! For a girl who grew up in the north country, this is something I looked forward to every year. And for an optimist, there are few better holidays.

Tomorrow marks the day with the least amount of light for the year. It's a tough time for many people. Going through day after day of waking up in darkness and leaving work in darkness is draining on even the toughest of psyches. I'm pretty sure that's why we have all of these holidays grouped around this time--to make it easier to handle. Whether that's the case is still up for debate.

While some might question the logic of celebrating the day with the shortest amount of light, it makes perfect sense to me. It can only get better. It can only be more light. Soon we'll rise with the sun again (a much more natural way to wake up) and play outside until we're thoroughly worn out.

It kind of reminds me of the ten of swords in the tarot. You can't get any more dead. The worst is over. You can't go anywhere but up. And while this may seem fatalistic to some, to me it's one of the best places to start. Because things just keep getting better.

A letter to my 18-year-old self

2009-12-16T13:13:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by this blog post to write a letter to my younger self. Here's a picture of who I am writing to:

That's me on the right.

Dear Rebecca,

You don’t know me, but I am you. I am writing to you from about 12 years in the future. I know you have an active imagination, but you still may have trouble grasping that. Just know that rolling your jeans is coming back into style, the planet is still in one piece (barely), and thankfully people are still listening to The Cure.

I have thought about a lot of different things to say to you. I like to write, as you know, and this letter could be miles long. I wonder if you would devour it or toss it aside to read when you had “time.” I’d like to think your rabid curiosity could sustain your interest, but you’re in high school right now, so let’s be realistic. You have other things to do.

I thought about telling you to pick your writing teacher’s brain, to not start smoking, and to skip the math major bullshit, but I know you hate being told what to do, so I’ll skip that. I would like you to know that someday you’ll laugh about being called a slut when you were a virgin and pity those who teased you for god-knows-what, but I know all of that hurts now. And plus, it makes you a stronger woman. (Just keep your chin up, girl!)

This is all I have: Every decision you are about to make is the right one. Not necessarily at that moment. Or even for the moment after that. You will experience setbacks that you think you’ll never recover from. You will wonder why the hell you were put on this planet.

But know this: The life you have is amazing. And 12 years from where you are now, you are going to look back and not have a single regret. What you do now makes you what you are later. Be confident. You will get what you want, even if it takes a few tries.

I love you. I'm proud of you. Keep up the optimistic attitude. It suits you.

Your friend,

Rebecca

An ode to Joanne, or My mom rules

2009-12-09T20:08:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again, and I'm not talking about Christmas. It's Sagittarius birthday time. I tend to attract them. One of the centaurs that has been in my life the longest is my mother. In fact, it's her birthday tomorrow.

Now we've had our ups and downs, but the fact is that she agreed to give birth to me, raise me as best she could and then unleash me onto the world.

Here (in no particular order) are five things that remind me of my mom, Joanne.

My mom read this book to me when I was very young. In fact, she instilled in me a great love of reading. Because of this, her attempts to get me to go to sleep at a decent hour were no match for the flashlight and good book I had under my bed. I was accused of not being a morning person--how much of a morning person could I be when I was up until 4am reading? Thanks Mom, for giving me the gift of reading. (I wouldn't be a writer without it.)

OK I know it's cheesy, but my mom would sing this song to me at night before I went to bed. And it's one of my favorite memories of being young. And it reminds me of how (as my mom told it) when I was born it was a record breaking heat wave, and she and I would open the windows in the hospital and reach for the sun.

Love it or hate it, it reminds me of my mom. "I'll have a small french fry and a medium diet coke." I can't count the number of times I have been on the phone with her and she says, "Hold on, I'm just in the drive through... *speaks above order* ...so anyway, I was playing this beautiful song on the piano..." If my mom wasn't in such good shape, I would say something to her about it. But hey, she laid off me and my smoking, so I can't say much. And since there is a McDonalds in every country around the world, this assures that I will think of her no matter where I go.

Lefse. My mom helped me achieve a life-long goal last year when she came to my apartment and showed me how to make lefse, a Norwegian treat. It was something that had long mystified and intimidated me. And it was delicious.

Mom went out, took a class and voila! She became a lefse extraordinaire! And when I was asked to make lefse the night before Thanksgiving this year, I didn't bat an eye. You want five pounds? Oh yah, sure! You betcha!

These words:

You can do anything.

You can be anything.

You could run a small county.

My mom said these to me over and over and over. When I was younger I saw this as pressure on me to do everything. What took me a while to realize is that she was just telling me she believed in me. And there is nothing more important a mom can do.

I wouldn't be the woman I am today without Joanne. I wouldn't have moved across a continent with the hope that I could get paid as a writer and then actually get a job as a writer if it wasn't for her belief in me. And that is the coolest thing ever.

Mom, I love you. Thanks for putting your energy, love and devotion toward me. Thanks for never giving up on me. And thanks for being you. I hope you have a great birthday!

Optimist seeking similar

2009-12-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

When I wake up most days, this is the first thing I see:

It used to be the scoreboard when the room I moved into was the ping-pong room. I know, I know! I ruined bachelor heaven.

When I first moved here I didn't know anyone or have a job, so I thought it would be a good idea to write down what I did have.

It's just grown from there. To be honest, after a few more months I should just take down the white board, paint the whole room white and break out a black sharpie. Hmmm...project anyone?

If you think I'm missing something up here, please help me out! It's three weeks before the Solstice and I'm struggling with the lack of light. Any light from other sources would be much appreciated!!

Perception Is Reality: It's not just cheezy corporate lingo anymore

2009-12-03T19:15:00.000-08:00

People that spend time with me know that I keep a notebook in my purse at all times. I use this sometimes to write down directions, books that might interest me and movies that I should see.

But what I do with it more often is write down what people say -- things that strike me as funny. If I write something down and you said it, usually it's a compliment. But once in a while I'm secretly making fun of you. This is one of the joy of being friends with, coworkers with or anyone that spends a lot of time with a writer.

I read an old entry recently:

A boss of mine (I won't say her name, but I'll bet some of you can guess) said "I was in the break room heating up some oatmeal and someone said 'Blah blah blah' to me. I couldn't remember who said it because I am so self-absorbed."

Now, she could have meant that she was absorbed in her own thoughts at that moment. But because she used the present tense, I took it to mean that, well, she is pretty self-absorbed. And that amused me at the time.

Last week I was reading my horoscope. That may seem a bit cheesy, but the guy I like is nationally syndicated and quite clever. He's a good writer and happens to be dead-on in my case. Or has been for the past three years. He is part of the reason I am not an unhappy wife with children right now.

(I can't help but endorse him: Robert Breszny--Free Will Astrology http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/ Check him out. Very into optimism!)

My horoscope said that my superpower was the ability to change myself. If, for instance, I was tired of being surrounded by poor listeners and flaky collaborators, I should decide to transform that pattern in my life.

Over the past few weeks I noticed my writing has been heavy with frustration over the fact that some people who have come into my life recently have been really self-absorbed. I was feeling sorry for myself about how no one is listening and everything is so one-sided and yadda yadda yadda. It was a regular pity-party to be honest.

But just like how I can read into something my boss said, my perception of how I believe people are is how they will tend to be. So if I can transform myself and my perception, I believe that some of these people will be better listeners and true friends.

In fact, they probably already are. But only by transforming my attitude will they become that way. Oh hell, and if they aren't...well that line of thinking doesn't suit me too well. But if they aren't, then I guess it just helps me to achieve balance in the friendship department. Regardless, here I go trying to grow again!

Among other things, I'm thankful for my toothbrush

2009-11-26T13:55:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend from Norway has been lamenting the fact that she isn't able to enjoy American Thanksgiving this year. My friend Iain from Wales said I am the first person he has ever wished a happy Thanksgiving to.

Eating dinner at our house are four people from California, two people from the East Coast and one sweet midwestern girl. (Guess who that is? Yes, I made casserole and lefse. I thought you would never ask.)

Although Thanksgiving is truly an American holiday, it brings up something that everyone can relate to, regardless of their background: Gratitude. What are we thankful for? I like to think that I spend every day giving thanks for what I have, but I'm sure there are things I take for granted.

In the newspaper industry, we were encouraged to think of new and different ways to cover the same things that happen year after year. And I have thought about writing something different, but really, isn't Thanksgiving about revisiting what you're grateful for? So without further ado, here is my list (in no real particular order):

Love, Sun, Luna, Earth, Dreams, Clean running water, Electricity, Fuel for cooking, Food in/and my refrigerator, Pilates, My room, My 6 senses, Moving to California, the Pacific, Trees, Books, Cooking, Wine and beer (Oh who are we kidding? Hard alcohol too.), Sex, The Universe, My blog, Traveling, Truth, Health, Floss, Indoor Plumbing, My bicycle, The beach, Rain, Shooting stars, Music, Internet, My closet, Margarita Meetings and My job

And while all of those things are great, they wouldn't mean too much without these people:

Sante, Johanna, Bryan, Iain, Kangbao, Nicole, Jennifer, Jean, Sophia, Okon, Justine, and Julie. Oh, and my mom. Duh.

Last year on Thanksgiving. I love these women!

Happy Thanksgiving! May your belly be full, your weekend seem long, and your football team win.

Gangsta For Life (G4L)!

2009-11-20T13:06:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to a lot of hip hop and Top 40 bullshit lately. Some people have reality TV, others trashy romance novels -- my guilty pleasure is terribly bad music. Or at least it is terribly bad to the music fascists out there. It makes me happy. So really, what's wrong with that?

My roommate and I were listening to the radio in the car last night and Rihanna's new song Hard was playing. I commented that she was on Def Jam now and had to get some street cred. Read: Pop/Rap song with Young Jeezy. Oh dear lord. Can you believe how ridiculous it is that I know this? (BTW: Check out the song. I really like it.)

hard - rihanna ft young jeezy

I started thinking about how silly real life would be if we all acted like hip hop artists:

I stayed up partying past midnight last weekend. We were drinking Sierra Nevada and sauteing shrimp for dinner. Watching Curb Your Enthusiasm we rented from NetFlix: Larry David is a genius. I'm not scared to laugh.

I caught the 71 from Aptos to Watsonville. It runs once an hour. Some of the drivers know me. I look so fly walking to the bus stop that cars driving by honk and people wave. I wave back. Yeah, I know I rule.

During the week I kick it at Smith Micro Software. I'm always writing the coolest shit so people will want to buy our software. Other software companies are wishing they had our products. Their marketers would kill for my skills.

After work I'm hitting up Target for some Clear Care contact solution and Crest Whitening Toothpaste. You don't wanna question my hygiene. I'll shower once, maybe twice, a day. But I'm not washing my hair that often. Don't get it twisted.

I don't always ride the bus. Sometimes I walk. I can walk for miles. I walk 3 miles every day. Up hills and shit. That's how tough I am. Once in a while I ride in my roommate's Ford Focus. Or my boyfriend's Toyota Tundra. I don't know if it has sweet rims or anything, but I would bet it does. He doesn't play.

And that was just this past week! I gotta say, I feel pretty hard. And awesome. Don't hate. Give it a try. You just might find out you're extraordinary.

P.S. Rihanna's new look is really hot. And I am going to shamelessly promote her and her new album, which kicks ass and is being released November 23.

You can change an idea. Beliefs are trickier.

2009-11-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club. I happen to think it's one of the greatest movies (and books) of all time. And it's not just because Brad Pitt kicks a lot of ass while shirtless. And it's not just because of Edward Norton's soothing voice as narrator. The book and movie speak volumes for how I feel about consumerism and the American "dream."

There are a few lines in the book and movie that speak to me. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Isn't that the truth? The classic stories of heroes throughout time all begin with a loss so great (family, home, trust) that one doesn't possibly think the hero can overcome. But when you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, you start to see things differently. Hell, you can do whatever you want. But only with the right mentality. And the ability to see past the fear.

My favorite line from the movie is The things you own end up owning you. I never wanted to forget that, so I branded it on my body. Frankly, I am not a tattoo kinda girl, but this was important to me. And I've had more than one conversation about it that ended with "I'm not a big fan of tattoos, but I really like yours." And that's how I feel about it. It means something.

So: A friend of mine had never seen Fight Club, and he actually owned the movie. It was in his home. This was while I was staying in Norway, which happens to be one of the wealthiest countries in the world. People there tend to be very into fashion. It costs $30 to take the bus. Cigarettes were $20 a pack. (Coincidence I just quit? Hardly.) I hadn't been able to put my finger on exactly why I felt uncomfortable at times there, but the movie did it for me: I'm uncomfortable with people spending money.

Now we could talk about why that is, but that's really neither here nor there. What I'm concerned with is my quest to achieve balance in all of this. Just because I have an opinion about owning things does not mean that no one else should. Hell, my roommate owns his house and I'm pretty stoked on that. And I would really like to buy a boat one day, and I convinced him that I should put it in his name.

So is it really bad to own things? Is it terrible to want nice things and to spend money on them? I don't know. As Tyler Durdin would say: Is this necessary, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?

Again, I'm thrown back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Where does all of this belong? Is this model appropriate? I'm looking for feedback here. I am open to modifying my ideas here. I don't know that it's realistic to all live hunter-gatherer lifestyles. But then again, if 2012 is in our future, perhaps my questions are unwarranted.

According to my friends, I've been Californiaized

2009-11-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since I arrived home and (I think) the jet lag has passed. My clothes are clean and my luggage is back in its place in the closet.

Although I miss my sweet sweet friend dearly, there is something so nice about coming home. So in the spirit of my last post, here are some things (in no particular order) I love about California:

I can call it home! I've lived here for four months, and when I was missing home on my trip, I was missing California. I feel settled in and that I belong here--more than any place in a long while.

My kitchen! I had a great time cooking in Norway. I learned how to prepare different fish, make mushroom sauce (mmm...mushrooms) and that there are loads of things you can put on bread. But there is something so nice about coming home and baking bread in my own oven. My first loaves: oatmeal cinnamon raisin breakfast bread. Oh yeah. It's amazing.

My friends and roommate. The few friends I've made here are great ones. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. My roommate and I get along famously regardless, but I will say that installing a washer and dryer while I was gone made me even more happy to see him.

Here's a pic of him and me in San Francisco a few months back. We went to visit friends and family. It's so nice to have people that care about me in California. It's pretty awesome considering how little time I have been here.

The food! I know, I know! But food provides energy for life. We have to eat it, so I have decided to enjoy it. And damn! I missed the taquerias. I love spicy food -- peppers and hot sauce of any kind. I am using the word "love" about hot sauce and I am not ashamed. A good friend of mine and I made these huevos rancheros for breakfast a few weeks ago. I guess I eat like a queen in Cali too.

Oh California! Thanks for such a warm homecoming. I feel so blessed to be living in this beautiful state. It's full of possibilities and wonder. I've only begun exploring.

(You will notice the weather is not on this list. Although I love it, it is chili here. It's a humid coolness, and that chills to the bone. I realize that coming from Minnesota I shouldn't complain, and I'm trying not to. It's for this reason that my friends make fun of me for being Californiaized. I dare say I would not make it through a Minneapolis winter now.)

It's pretty obvious I'm Scandinavian

2009-11-08T01:34:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was my last night in Trondheim. Of course, being the girls we are, we did it right and went out to the club. It was a perfect night of drinking, talking, dancing and the requisite kebab stand visit.

I have had a wonderful vacation so far in Norway. There are so many things that I love about this place. Here they are, in no particular order:

My dear friend Johanna. We met in the laundry room of our building a little more than a year ago in Minneapolis. She has shown me what a good friend is, how to be a better friend, and a number of great places, from Billings, Montana to Trondheim, Norway.

The food!!! Oh.My.God. These people know what they're doing. I've eaten venison meatballs with (freshly picked) mushrooms, salmon filets with lemon cream sauce and pan-fried flounder with butter sauce. And that was just one weekend! My friend assures me that not all Norwegians eat like them. Regardless, I have dined out twice in the two weeks I have been here, and although the sushi was some of the best I have ever had, those meals were probably my least favorite.

Johanna's family. They are some of the most loving and welcoming people I have ever met. I feel like part of the family. I moved in with her cousin; he had never even met me. I spent a weekend with more of her cousins boating and relaxing on the water this summer. I am leaving after a week and a half of non-stop hospitality from her parents. They're the perfect hosts and wonderful to spend time with. It's so nice to have such great people in my life. And I haven't laughed this hard in years.

All the water around me. Yes, I know I live by the ocean. But I walk out the door and cross the river Nidelva. The fish market and harbor are within walking distance. It just all feels so right. I think it's the Minnesotan in me.

The age of the city. This is something that I miss every time I leave somewhere in Europe. The Nidarosdomen cathedral was built about 1000 years ago. Yup. The U.S. just celebrated its 200th birthday. It's just a different world, and I love it.

I have one more day in Oslo, and I am really looking forward to my time there. I am sure there will be more things to love and I am sad to leave, but as an old friend of mine once said: "How can I miss you if you don't go away?"

Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday

2009-11-05T02:05:00.000-08:00

My flight to Oslo was on Swiss Air. I'm a fan. The flight attendants were friendly, I only waited for the bathroom once, wine was free, and the food was decent. Although it was airline food, it was served with real silverware. For some reason, that made it for me. Serve me tasteless pasta and I'll be disappointed, but give it to me with a silver fork and I can't stop raving about it!

My friend and I were talking last night about how it's the little things that make life so great. I brought up the silverware. She talked about the stranger on the street who complimented her hat. She said that if we paid more attention to the small stuff, the big stuff would hardly matter.

I agree. I have a white board in my room that I see every morning when I wake up. It lists all the things I can think of to be thankful for. Inevitably it has the big things like my room and food -- things on the bottom of the hierarchy of needs. However, most of what is on there are things like wine, friends, pilates, trees, stars, and (of course) my blog.

I have had all sorts of experiences in the past week or so that I am thankful for. And since I don't have my white board, I figured my blog would do just fine.

My friend and her family have had me in their home for the past week; there has been fresh fruit, homemade bread, more cheese (or ost in Norsk) than you can shake a stick at, and all the coffee, water and wine I could want. I truly thank them for their hospitality. I feel like part of the family.

My dear friend in Oslo picked me up at the airport, booked a train for himself and me to Trondheim, and will take a day off from work to show me around the city next week. I am so blessed to have met him through a church celebration of Norway's independence in Minneapolis. Yeah, I know. That's the Universe having a sense of humor right there.

The weather in Trondheim reminds me of Minneapolis around this time. Cold, windy and just a bit damp. Very fall. Very crisp. Thank you to Trondheim for confirming that I made the right decision by moving to California. Although it could get this cold where I live now, it won't get colder (like it will in my former post) and for that I am truly thankful!

Some people say the devil is in the details. I tend to disagree. Don't sweat the small stuff? I don't know about that, but then I don't sweat much of anything. The little things in life are what we really remember. They stick out in our brain for years. If there isn't toilet paper in a restaurant, I would be willing to bet we remember that longer than what we ordered for dinner.

In the spirit of the little things, I would like to say thank you to everyone in my life that I know and to those I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet for making it so amazing. I love you all!

Seeking similarities in a sunless situation

2009-11-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

In the last few days I have been trying desperately to shake jet lag. The fact that I am up writing at 2 am would lead me to believe that I've done a terrible job of it. But hey! Because of the time difference I am just having a bit more trouble assimilating to life in Scandinavia.

When I travel, I often look for the differences between what I am accustomed to and what other cultures and countries are used to. The Norwegians shower on the bathroom floor here--the drains are all over the bathroom! The Swedish have a two "mealish" events: one that is all about sweets and happiness and another that is more of a mini meal. You can imagine I am a fan of both.

This afternoon my girlfriend and I were discussing that looking for the differences might not be the right way to go about things. I mean, we're all creatures of habit are we not? Perhaps we should be looking for similarities so that we can be more comfortable when we're struggling to find our place in new surroundings.

Don't we all experience joy and heartache? Don't we all bleed? Don't we feel cold and dress accordingly? (This is definitely one I am relearning on my vacation in the Nordic world.)

As the world gets smaller thanks to advances in communication and travel, there is more of a need to assimilate more quickly to different environments. Maybe noticing what we have in common as humans will make that easier. Maybe it will help my jet lag. Maybe it's all just wishful thinking, but be careful what you wish for ... world peace may be just around the corner!

Collaborations of Abstraction

2009-10-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

http://collaborationsofabstraction.wordpress.com/

One of my goals in the past year was to visit Europe. A friend and I made plans to fly to Ireland as well as Spain. Along with great photos and 10 pounds (damn that Spanish wine and ham!), we brought back the email address of some Welsh dude.

Fast-forward about six months and I found myself with another friend from across the globe. And this one happened to be inspired by my blog -- so inspired that he started his own.
http://welshtramp.blogspot.com/

(I'm still very flattered by this.)

There have been times when I've wanted to post something on my blog, but it really didn't suit the theme. I know it's hard to believe, but there are times when the pessimist comes out of the basement and I just want to rant. Or sound off on politics. Or let the inner conspiracy theorist have the reins. And Iain had similar feelings about his blog.

I've been trying to find someone to co-write on a blog with me for quite some time. But not everyone fancies themselves writers, and a lot of people just don't feel the need to put it "out there." So after watching my friend blog like a maniac for the past few months, I decided to ask him. And he was soooo down! Sweet!

So check out our new blog Collaborations of Abstraction. It's full of all sorts of interesting discoveries and thoughts from all over the world. At least interesting to us. Comments are encouraged. Suggestions are welcome.

http://collaborationsofabstraction.wordpress.com/

We'll both continue our individual blogs. So don't worry. My ridiculous optimism will continue. How could it not? There are so many beautiful things to consider and appreciate!

"No, impassible. Nothing's impossible!"

2009-10-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Jim, a 78-year-old man, showed up at my door today to say hello and that he grew up in what I now call my home. I invited him in and he told me about a secret room behind my closet (exploration time, anyone?) and where he buried his dog. His parents had the house built. He said he lived here during World War II and when there were blackouts, they would eat by the light of the refrigerator.

I'm a sucker for good stories, so it was a welcome intrusion, to say the least.

Today also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the Loma Prieta Earthquake, which shook (literally and figuratively) much of California to the core. I've seen monuments to the catastrophe here but not being local, mostly I remember it as something that happened during (of course) playoff baseball.

Perspective and time are such amazing things, aren't they? One person can look out a window and see empty fields where he dug caves and hid coins, and I see a neighborhood full of people going about their business. To me, a closet holds clothes; to him--secret meetings with the neighbor kids. In my world, the earthquake was pictures and newscasts. To others, it seemed to be the end of the world.

I often wax poetic about different planets and dimensions, wondering when we will be able to travel to and from and through them. But doesn't that already exist in the world we live in today? If we open our minds and look through other people's eyes, Mount Everest doesn't look so tall. And the oceans seem only a pond.

Perhaps our version of time travel is too narrow. What if we simply listened and lived through other people's stories. I mean really listen without our own experiences coloring theirs? Could we travel back in their memories? Can we exist somewhere else simply by letting go?

If this is true, then maybe we can do whatever we want to do. That looming project at work might not seem so taxing after swimming the English Channel. Writing that book would seem less daunting after witnessing your plays performed on stage. For those times when we'd rather not get out of bed, we could remember a life where we could not walk at all.

I'm not proposing we don multiple personalities or lose our own. I'm suggesting that maybe if we let go of our egos and allow our souls to truly listen and move, we can accomplish anything. We are all connected, and wouldn't it be wonderful if we could learn the easy way for once? I think it's very possible.

What would you eat for a last meal?

2009-10-11T19:48:00.000-07:00

There are certain questions I like to ask that I feel tell a lot about someone:

--How do you like your eggs?
--If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
--Do you have a criminal record?

These questions don't have a right or wrong answer. They're just telling, y'know? And this weekend I was speaking to some people about my adventures of late, and I realized, I basically answered the question "What would you take to a deserted island?" Oh, and here's a picture of my answer.

Watermelon (for hydration, of course!), my bread, wine (man can not live on bread alone), Henry David Thoreau's Walden, and well, a cigarette. (I know, I know. Dammit!)

Most of us really don't need much. In fact, I like to remind myself that I don't need anything. But oxygen is good. And I really do dig sunshine. And I'll begrudgingly admit that gravity has its benefits. Maybe the things we need are what we cannot capture.

Laughter, happiness and love are the oxygen, sunshine and gravity of our lives. They're impossible to capture, and the science behind them is mind-blowing. So, although I really like my cigarettes, booze and literature, I'm certain I could make it on a deserted island as long as I had some good company.

Goals are like the roadmaps to life

2009-10-04T17:38:00.000-07:00

My friend and I were chatting this afternoon, and he was waxing sentimental about a certain girl. It would be a year ago (in 11 days, 15 hours and 32 minutes) that she had left for Australia. It was sweet, albeit a little sappy, and it made me smile. I was getting all misty. Then he asked, "What were you doing at this time last year?"

Holy Jesus. Stop the show. Go back a year? I did. Thought about it. Talked about it a little. And the conversation flowed again. But what was it about that question that caught me off guard?

The topic of goals has been coming up in conversation a lot lately. (Probably because the season of death is almost upon us, and we're doing the natural assessment of another cycle's passing.) So I started thinking about the goals I had for the last year and what came of them.

Travel to Europe--actually going to make it there twice. Damn! Not bad at all!

Move to another state--California resident? Check!

Write a book or screenplay--not quite, still working on it...that may be on the list for awhile

Go boyfriendless for awhile--single for almost two years!

Go for a solid motorcycle ride this summer--3.5 hours in the mountains and along Hwy 1. Couldn't ask for a much cooler ride than that.

Surround myself with people that make me want to be a better person--Yup!

Pursue balance--working on it!

Go to a baseball game in California--looks like this one might not be a reality unless I can get down to L.A.

I'm going to pat myself on the back for this list. I did almost everything I wanted to do this year. To be honest, I just learned the power and magic of setting goals. I had never really done it before. I mean, yeah, I had the occasional New Year's resolution, but I always made those really easy: floss every day, eat 3 fruits or veggies a day, etc. This was my first attempt at sitting down and making some reasonable and not-so-attainable goals.

I think the reason I was so nervous about answering my friend's question is that I used to dread shit like that as a kid. Remember being in high school and all the adults would ask, Where are you going to college? and then it's When are you getting married? and then it's Where are you thinking of buying a house? And this pattern of questioning continues until we have children and then they can start badgering them instead of us. Anyway, I always hated those questions because they were based in assumption. And god forbid we should say, Eh...I don't really feel like going to college.

The cool thing is though, once you start having your own goals, questions like my friend's are much more fun to answer. I wonder if some "adults" had stopped asking the assuming questions, if adolescence would have been easier. Ha! I doubt it.

I think the more often we set goals, the easier they are to attain. And they keep us moving forward. But it's an active process. We must participate in our lives, or we'll end up waking up one day with a spouse, house and kids and say Woah woah woah! When did this happen? Not that there's anything wrong with said things--I'm just suggesting we make sure they're our ideas and not the product of someone else setting our goals. If we actively set and work toward goals, I'm fairly certain we can do anything. That's why that screenplay goal will stay on my list!

My hypotheses may not hold up in California

2009-10-01T20:53:00.007-07:00

My friend told me about her bus ride home today. An older guy with a fake Jamaican accent was fighting with his girlfriend and declared to the entire bus: "I bring you fruit and you throw it down the stairs!"

She said it was quite the dramatic production. She was convinced it was fake. And that got me thinking about something I haven't considered in a while: The Social Experiment.

I'm a big fan of seeing how people react in situations where the unexpected happens. Or when they're forced to be uncomfortable by proximity. I've traveled across a continent to visit someone for 11 hours just to see how they would react.

One of my favorite ideas was going to lunch in front of the courthouse where everyone (read: judges, lawyers, the real suits) eats when it's nice out. I would show up in my business casual uniform with my lunch, strip down to a bikini and sunbathe on the fountain bench. I wanted to get my photog friend there to document the event, but even she was uncomfortable with the idea.

I guess I haven't really considered doing a social experiment in a while. Probably because the last three months of my life have been a giant one on myself. But now that I'm a little more familiar with my surroundings, it might be time to start brainstorming.

The thing is, people in Minnesota are different than people in California. (Insert "Duh!" here.) So how do I come up with new ideas? And I can't very well experiment on my coworkers or roommate. That would be downright unethical! So where do I start? Perhaps the transit station.

Justification--I could have been a lawyer with all the loopholes I find, even in my own logic!

2009-09-28T12:34:00.005-07:00

This weekend I went to a few bars in downtown Santa Cruz. I remember recently reading that smoking has been banned on the main street, coincidentally right where I was puffing away. The next day I went to the beach. The same legislation that banned my activity outside the bars has now restricted smoking on public beaches. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?

In my quest to find balance in the past few years, I have become something of a walking contradiction. I am, after all, a vegetarian who enjoys a good steak. Even though I'm a beer snob, you'll still find Hamm's in my refrigerator. Y'know, to keep me on even footing. Er..or something like that.

I have kinda used the idea of balance to justify the pack of cigarettes in my purse. I work out. I eat well. I just happen to be addicted to cigarettes.

Then I thought if I could just change the addiction to an enjoyment, then I would achieve this elusive balance as a smoker/non-smoker. But alas, it just wasn't in the cards. This was an all-or-nothing undertaking for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even in the effort to achieve balance, not everything can be so middle-ground. There has to be some things that we need to be extreme about. And it's different for everyone.

There are things we love and are good for us. Things that are OK to permeate our lives with. To be extreme with, like biking, reading or watching baseball (OK that might just be me!).

But there are other things that we must eradicate from our lives, that we can not allow anywhere near us, because we aren't able to control them. Those things could be physical, like addictions to alcohol or other substances. Or maybe they're mental, like a bad relationship that can not be mended.

I guess the idea is to recognize what we can balance and what we can not. And try to balance our extreme behaviors. Like I'll avoid smoking like the plague, but I will watch almost every playoff game in October. That's balance, right?!?

I challenge you to a duel...or perhaps a dual?

2009-09-13T22:27:00.007-07:00

Recently I cleaned my refrigerator, microwave and toaster. These are not projects I enjoy, but the end result is always quite pleasing. It occurred to me about halfway through that if I were to clean them more often (the current rate being about once every few months), it would be much easier and less...unpleasant.

I've made a habit of looking at the small things in life and seeing the positive in them. It's created a world of beauty, love and wonder for me.

And so in my new quest for balance, I'm trying to do the same. Look at what surrounds me. Learn from life: the greatest teacher of all. And life is telling me that the food in the microwave would be easier to scrape off and the leftovers would be better tended to in the refrigerator if I just made a small effort more often. I wouldn't have to go to extremes, using chemicals and paint scrapers, to get the results I wanted.

The bottom line is this: maintaining balance is not a weekend retreat. This is not something anyone can do for a few hours a week and check it off their to-do list. It's an attitude. It's a brain path that needs to be created. And just like the path in the woods, the more often it's traveled the easier it becomes.

So in the spirit of sanguinity, I challenge myself (and others) to find the lesson of the middle-ground in every day moments. And while it may be challenging and unpleasant, the end result is inevitably worth the effort.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

2009-09-10T17:51:00.009-07:00

This weekend I went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and saw a great white shark. It was pretty amazing. These sharks don't do well in captivity. They are rescued, cared for and released quickly back to the ocean. I was really blessed to be able to get there and see it.

One of my life goals is to swim with great white sharks. You know--in a giant cage surrounded by bloody fish guts.

For the longest time I thought that it would take ages for me to realize that goal. Actually, there are a lot of life goals I have that seem pretty overwhelming: see the Olympics, live in Ireland, perfect the over easy egg. But I realized on the day I visited the aquarium that it's all about taking little steps to make the big thing happen.

My goal is to swim with the sharks. I've now seen a live great white in person. I live near the ocean. It's only a matter of time before I'll be swimming with them. My goal is to see the Olympics. I have friends of friends that ski in the Olympics and the winter games are in Vancouver next. I happen to know someone who lives there. I want to live in Ireland. I've visited several areas. I also have a good friend who will help me get a visa and find a place to stay. The eggs? Well, I just keep trying.

I guess the pattern I'm noticing in this is that a big life goal is just a series of small steps. There's a tendency to look at the large picture and get discouraged. But really, it's all about finding the path and walking along, asking for directions. This is not an all-or-nothing thing--that's too extreme. If we looked at it that way, we could be tempted to not do anything at all.

Doing the little things in between is what is really important. Patience and following through is how we can achieve all things, big and small---swimming with sharks and cooking eggs.

I counted 21 blessings in less than an hour

2009-08-13T09:14:00.004-07:00

On Tuesday my girlfriend called me excitedly to tell me about the meteor shower that was happening that evening. She knew I was having a rough day (what's with Tuesday's anyway?) and thought This would definitely make her Tuesday. She was right.

Unfortunately for me, my new locale tends to haze up in the evenings. I looked out at the sky in vain; the clouds had rolled in. I tried to be optimistic: I can still feel the good energy raining down on me from the Universe. But oh how I wished I could see the magnificent display!

Wednesday night my roommate had had enough of looking at a screen, so we opted to sit outside and drink some beer instead of watching a movie. What a great idea. I saw 21 shooting stars. He saw 25. We were comparing: was No. 18 as good as No. 15? It was a beautiful evening.

I saw on the news today that the meteor shower can be witnessed for the entire week. This was after I decided to just be happy with the energy passing my way, not be sad about not seeing it, and got an unexpected surprise.

Life is like that a lot. Many times we give up on something or become negative about life because it's not handed to us exactly the way we thought it should be or expected it. But so many of life's blessings are not given to us wrapped up the pretty paper we want them to be.

There are so many cliches that encourage us to see how beautiful life is. Carpe diem! Live life to the fullest! Live every day like it's your last! Being a journalist, I tend to avoid these. But I think there's a reason they are cliches: They're true, and the people that believe them really believe in them.

Pilates trains me for mental gymnastics

2009-07-31T11:57:00.010-07:00

I have been a big fan of pilates for a few years. It helps tone and strengthen core muscles, which are arguably the largest and most important ones in our bodies. We use them for almost every movement, big or small. And I'll be honest, I like flat abs too.

One of the main things pilates helps with is balance. I'm still a klutz, but I fall down and run into things a lot less these days. The stronger our core muscles are, the easier it is for our bodies to maintain balance.

As I was working out this morning, I realized this could easily translate for my newest quest in my life: balance! I tend to swing back and forth on the pendulum without a thought to where my extremes take me. I wondered: If my core is strong, wouldn't it be easier to maintain and achieve balance?

A lot of times when starting on a new endeavor, it's hard to know where to begin. Striving for balance is a life-long project, which can make it seem daunting. But now I know what direction to point my feet in, a starting line for this self-improvement. Strengthen my core values. Know where I stand. And anyone that knows me knows that I've definitely got some strong opinions. So I guess I've already started my workout.

The barter system works for more than just goods and services: Let's trade ideas!

2009-07-30T18:35:00.005-07:00

Yesterday my roommate came in with an armful of avocados from our neighbor's tree. Last week another neighbor stopped by with a basket of strawberries. This is pretty much the standard around here. We all have an excess of some vegetable or fruit and we just trade. I'm pretty much in love with it, mostly because it seems so much more natural than going to buy these things from a store.

I knew this area was a big growing community. One of the biggest berry suppliers in the country is here. The strawberry festival is this weekend. The thing is, I think this land isn't just about growing food. I knew that moving was going to be a giant adventure and, at times, difficult. But this soil is just encouraging me to grow.

Of course, being Rebecca, I have to pick this apart. I wonder, how do we grow when we're aware we should be growing? It's always easier to look back at a time and say, "Wow, I really grew from that experience." But what about living in the moment and trying to grow in the moment?

I spend time everyday writing, reading, working out, job searching, meditating, cooking, and trying to learn something new. Yet I wonder if this is really what helps me grow. I feel like these are all things I have been doing for awhile. Is it possible to try to grow mentally and spiritually? Or is this something that comes out of all the actions and brain activities during a point in our lives?

"Everything is a double-edged sword!" --Louis CK

2009-07-28T11:50:00.005-07:00

It's been a few months. In this time I have been getting rid of everything I own and moving across the continent. It's amazing what little I actually need to get by. I sold a lot of what I owned, but gave most of it away. It all seemed to have a place. And that place was not with me.

In the past few years, I have been living with the phrase Be comfortable being uncomfortable running through my head. It keeps my mind limber, my optimism keen and my expectations open. Comfort can create stagnation, which breeds bacteria and becomes unhealthy. But moving across the country without a job or many friends has made me reconsider.

I wonder: When is it OK to comfortable? Where is the middle ground between complete chaos and stuck in a rut? Should we constantly be searching, never to be satisfied? Or should we accept and live in routine? Can we do both?

Thus begins my quest for the middle ground. Anyone who knows me can say I tend to go to the extreme. While this may be great for my workout routine, it can be a disaster when I go out for drinks. And that may be simplifying it but it may not be.

How do you want your eggs?

2009-05-13T12:34:00.004-07:00

I started waiting tables again, but it's nothing like my old serving job. It's night and day, literally. I used to work from 5pm to 2am and now I work from 8am to 4pm. The new arrangement works out much better for me. There are other things I like about this job in comparison to my other one as well.

It's not corporate, so there aren't all these ridiculous rules about behavior we have to abide by. Don't get me wrong, I believe that basic hygiene should be honored, but I don't think I should have to answer the phone with a very specific greeting.
I like that I can walk around with the phone on my ear while I'm ringing in tables orders and refilling coffee. I'm not on a personal call of course, but I don't have to stop doing whatever it is I'm doing just because the restaurant received a call.
No bar service! We have wine and beer, but it's a breakfast joint so we don't see a lot of it. Naturally I doubt I will ever have to cut someone off there. At my old job I cut off eight people after the Basilica Block Party one year. Fucking Catholics...
I am done at 4pm at the latest. I may have mentioned this before, but man it's nice to see daylight after a closing shift.
It's only 50 feet from the farthest point in the restaurant to the expo line. I used to walk miles a night in the gargantuan restaurant before.
People seem to be much happier about going out for breakfast than they do for dinner. Maybe it's the lowered expectations or maybe less has happened in their day to make them pissy.
Nobody checks out your sidework. People actually trust you to do your work there. How sweet is that?

Of course I could probably come up with a list of things I don't like about the place too, but what fun would that be?

Lunch stimulates my brain--internally and otherwise

2009-05-13T10:41:00.004-07:00

Here are some things I learned today:

Radishes are an excellent food if you are looking to get full without a lot of calories. (Apparently a cup is about 20 calories.) They are also spicy delicious root vegetables that make me think of summer, farmer's market and my friend Jean.
Tomatoes are a close relative of the plant belladonna (Italian for beautiful woman). Belladonna is poisonous--ingestion of one leaf can be fatal to an adult--and was used in flying powder by witches, according to folklore.
A serving of spinach has more iron in it than a 6 ounce serving of beef. Veggies unite! But in order for your body to absorb it, it must be combined with Vitamin C. Coincidence that tomatoes and spinach taste so good together? I think not!
Hummus is one of the oldest known consumed foods in the world.

I learned all this from my lunch. Learning from the things we do everyday is important, and I rejoice every time I have the opportunity.

A Sample Cover Letter (feel free to use it)

2009-05-05T17:40:00.005-07:00

A friend of mine and I have been working on applying for jobs. The biggest bitch is writing the cover letter. I will walk around the room trying to think of the perfect thing to write. While my brain searches for something, I inevitably stumble across a few four-letter words and sentences that either don't pertain or are just plain inappropriate.

My friend thought some of this stuff was pretty funny, so I thought why not put it out there for more people to laugh at? Or just for my own entertainment...

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to express my interest in your position for whatever the hell you might be willing to pay me for. After reviewing your vague and incomplete job description in one of the countless job search website hells, I believe that I could con my way into an interview with you.

I have nine years of combined international education and work experience, but I doubt that you really give a shit. I could list several experiences I have had over the years that might make me stand out, but I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I'm one foxy chick and you might enjoy seeing me around the office.

Your qualifications suggest that I should be driven to provide good customer service. Well, no shit. Unless I was applying for an underground lab assistant position, one would assume I would be dealing with other people. I am able to deal with criticism although I prefer compliments. I believe my philosophy on customer service is refreshing: If the customer wasn't so stupid, my job would be a lot easier.

I am also familiar with working with sales people, as I manage several accounts for the fuckers at my current position. I create and manage all the Excel work for our office, but that has more to do with the fact that they're a bunch of idiots who can barely send an email and less to do with my spreadsheet management skills. As if to help prove this point, they asked me, a non-native English speaker, to edit our company’s website for content.

I've attached my resume for you to print out, use as a coaster for your coffee cup and eventually give to your secretary (who probably has a higher IQ than you) to shred. I will say that I am the perfect candidate for your position if only because I am a fine piece of ass who will put up with annoying middle-management requests for at least one year. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience, which will probably be at some ungodly hour of the morning after I've been on a week-long bender. I look forward to speaking with you.

Best regards,
Your New Employee

The best teacher we have is ourselves

2009-05-04T08:45:00.004-07:00

My cousin's graduation announcement arrived in my mailbox today. After the initial shock of seeing his senior picture (I remember him being born!), I started to think a little about new beginnings and expectations. That's the idea, right?

While graduation is a clear example of the end of one thing and the beginning of something else, we are faced with these situations throughout our lives. It can be unsettling to be in a position where we have to say goodbye to what we've become comfortable with and hello to what we know little about.

There are certain expectations people have for us and that we have for ourselves. The longer we settle into a pattern, the less often we have these expectations. We tried this and it didn't work out. We set a goal and achieved it. Now what's next? Many times we forget to ask what's next, and instead pat ourselves on the back for what we can and try and forget the failures.

I have been having some anxiety about this lately, as I am moving away from a city that has hosted a world of achievements and letdowns for me to a place I have never been. In the beginning, I assigned a negative emotion to this feeling. Anxiety in itself has a negative connotation.

Anxiety can be a good thing -- a marker that our body and brain are still working. Of course we feel stress when we go through major change--it's part of nature's plan. Learning to deal with it and work through it is what separates us from the animals. We can move out of our comfort zone. We should. Habits and routine can be good to a point, but not if it's keeping us from setting goals and moving forward.

I challenge all of us to look at the beginning and end points of things in our life. It doesn't have to be as obvious as graduating, buying a house or changing jobs. It can be as simple as a new workout routine or a new friend. These things cause stress and anxiety at almost undetectable levels. They also create new expectations for us. If we can navigate our way through these, then certainly we can accomplish whatever it is we want in this life.

Is that the best your brain could come up with?

2009-05-03T14:42:00.005-07:00

There is a website where one can rent designer purses, jewelry, watches and sunglasses. Apparently I'm a little behind in the times, because this has been going on for sometime, as my friend pointed out. Now I have enough problems with the whole designer bag phenomenon as it is, but I'm trying to see other points of view: you own it forever and they tend to be good quality, etc. But renting one?

Who are you trying to impress? Because I can only see that side when it comes to renting Gucci or Louis Vuitton for between $40 and $400 a month. You care far too much about the facade -- about what people are saying about you.

I'm thinking about starting my own business: rent a personality. I can create a truly amazing life for you with my incredible imagination. I can give you silly quirks, interesting anecdotes, mental illnesses (that shouldn't be too tough) and diverse musical taste. What about a crippling fear of Styrofoam? Oh sure, that too.

The sad thing about my business is that it would require so much work for my customers to acquire their personalities that they would be better off just doing it themselves. But people don't like to do work. People want things handed to them, which is why they're depending on credit for the gas to drive their financed BMW while sporting rented Ray Bans. And still they want more. And still they are unhappy.

Now normally I try to keep my blog pretty optimistic. But what's the sense of having your own blog if you can't rant on occasion? It's just tragic that people think they have to be a certain way.

I'm not saying I have the answers to how everyone should live, but if human beings didn't care so much about what their possessions said about them, the Earth might be a more interesting place. But then again, maybe keeping the masses chasing shit they don't need keeps them out of the way for the real visionaries and prophets.

Dairy Queen brings the consumer out of me

2009-05-01T14:15:00.004-07:00

I went into the skyway system in downtown Minneapolis today and was struck with a sudden need to have Dairy Queen. While this in itself is not weird (I love Blizzards and would eat one every day if I could), I noticed that the last time I was in the skyway I really wanted something ... anything.

The skyway encourages the want in me. And in most people I think. It reminds me of rats in a maze: go through the correct way and get your reward. Turn right at the TCF Tower and you'll get to Starbucks where you will purchase and receive your coffee, your incentive for making it through the maze and through the day.

Living in a capitalist country makes this sort of thing the norm. Unfortunately it also encourages debt and living paycheck-to-paycheck. Think of all that interest being paid on venti mochacchinos!

I have a few friends who don't have credit cards and don't have debt. They are definitely the minority. I strive to not want things, whatever it may be, but it can be difficult. And easy to swing into the extreme.

I ask myself, Do I really need this? And the answer is most times no. But where is the reward in the maze for someone who doesn't want? Maybe it's about getting out of the maze, but until that day I guess I'll just enjoy the people-watching.

Most problems can be solved with movie quotes

2009-04-20T11:30:00.005-07:00

One of my favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. While I believe most of the lines are quotable (and I do), one conversation from the movie in particular I like is this:

Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, it's clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship.

Sally Albright: Why?

Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on and you don't take someone to the airport and I never wanted anyone to say to me, 'How come you never take me to the airport anymore?'

Sally Albright: Its amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death.

My friends and I were talking about how people have their relationship status listed on Facebook. We were against it for the most part. Our arguments with it mostly had to do with privacy and the like. And of course, really, if someone would like to know, they could just ask.

While that is one of the reasons I stopped listing my relationship status, the main reason is like Harry's above. I never want anyone to say to me "How come you're not listed as in a relationship with me on Facebook?"

If that makes me the angel of death, then so be it.

Good girlfriends--every woman deserves them

2009-04-12T09:47:00.007-07:00

I've been watching PBS lately. I'm not the biggest fan of television, but I think that if it's not on a few hours a week I'm missing out on something. I've learned that volcanoes in Hawaii sing songs in tones lower than audible to the human ear, and if you want to make salmon burgers that aren't too dry add some mushrooms and onions to them.

This morning there was a program about mothers exposing their "dark side" online, namely that they are still sexual, they sometimes don't like their children and wonder why they became moms to begin with. Some women feel like online blogs and chat rooms are a good place to do this because they are anonymous and they feel like they aren't being judged.

While I agree that that the Internet is a great place to sound off and be anonymous, I am sad that some mothers don't have friends they can turn to in situations like these. Of course I'm not speaking from experience, but I'm sure that all of those feelings are common ones among mothers. Some women say they lose all their friends when they become a mother. I say, they weren't good enough friends to begin with if they can't stick by you in a time of extreme change.

Women have made great strides in the past 100 years. We can vote, own land, get divorced with minimal public scrutiny, be single or childless and not be accused of witchcraft or thrown in an asylum (most times), work in most occupations, and run for public office. I think the greatest challenge feminism has in this new era is learning how to work together as women.

I know many women who say they get along better with males than females. I'm one of them. However, in the past year I've had the good fortune of meeting some really great women. I spend most of my time with my women friends and have never felt to uplifted and on top of the world. When women come together and support each other in a nonjudgmental way, it's amazing what we can accomplish.

My challenge to myself and other females is this: support each other. Work with each other instead of against each other. Let's quit judging (or try to). No one is perfect or should they be. The world would be pretty boring if that were the case.

"But Brawndo's got what plants crave."

2009-04-04T11:49:00.004-07:00

While traveling in Ireland and Spain my friend and I noticed a lot of things that weren't like the United States. Some of them were just plain silliness--Booze 2 Go was on every corner in Dublin and Museo del Jamon (The Ham Museum) was quite possible Madrid's most popular hang-out.

There were other things, however, that we noticed ourselves being perplexed about that seemed to have a similar theme. All the bars closed at different times. We would go to a pub in Ireland and they would close but we could grab a beer next door for another hour or two. In Spain we would leave one bar, go to another and be told to leave an hour later--this pattern continued until about 5am. Also, crosswalks were never on the corners and street rarely intersected at 90 degree angles. And there were never really any clear-cut rules about where one could or could not smoke.

Now my friend and I pride ourselves in the fact that we aren't programmed. We have made it into our late twenties without kids, husbands, or houses. We aren't chasing the "American Dream." But after a few days of noticing these things that bothered or perplexed us about Europe, we realized that we are used to some uniformity and that, indeed, we are programmed.

Some may argue that uniformity is important, and I tend to agree. What I have a problem with is doing something simply because it is always done that way, or because it is "easiest." My friend and I agreed that the different bar closings were a great idea because there isn't a mad rush for cabs and a great exodus to deal with. But we doubted that it would be received very well here because well, things have always been done that way.

I'm not proposing a great change in the bar industry or anything like that. I am proposing that we think about the things that are a certain way just because they have always been that way in our lives. Is there a better way to do things? Do we even need to have some of these habits? Are they just the residue of our lives that we haven't dealt with, kind of like the stove we've left uncleaned for months? I know routine can be important, but I think it can also make us lazy. I guess I'm saying to myself: Get out of the habit of habit.

Talkie, talkie, talkie...no more talkie.

2009-03-08T09:51:00.003-07:00

I was in CVS with a friend and we saw some Real Cheese Flavored Puffs. We were laughing trying to decide if they were real cheese or if they tasted like real cheese flavor. This morning I noticed my peanut butter was labeled with Natural Fresh Roasted Peanut Taste. My question was similar to the one above: is it natural peanut butter or just natural peanut taste?

Paying attention is a skill. People talk a lot. Some of them are just running their mouths, but I think it's still important to listen to their words. Most people will tell you what they mean, who they are, and their intentions. Many times their sentences will be phrased like the ones above, leaving the listener to question their true meaning.

The coolest thing is talking with someone who isn't just talking to hear the sound of their own voice--one of those people who chooses their words carefully and thinks for a minute when asked a question. I like the slower conversation--the pauses in between are like rests in a melody: necessary and helpful to build anticipation.

Those people might still make comments about their real cheese flavor but offer a chance to think about it and question it during the conversation instead of two weeks later while eating your toast at breakfast. Bless them--they are a rare breed.

Einstein was an optimist

2009-03-07T15:33:00.004-08:00

Yesterday was my last day at F&C. At every job I've ever had, I've harbored these fantasies about telling people off, whether it be the customers or coworkers. Lately I'd been thinking it would along the lines of Half Baked: "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You're cool. And fuck you, I'm out!" But something kept me from doing it.

The first law of thermodynamics is that energy can't be created or destroyed. It just changes forms. I learned that in physics in high school. While most of our study dealt with energy of moving objects and such, I believe that this rule applies to the way we send out our energy as well.

Last summer a woman driving in Uptown almost ran my friend and I over in the crosswalk. And then she had the nerve to roll down her window and yell at us. I was furious. So when these guys cat called the two of us, I gave them the finger instead of just taking it as a compliment and letting it go. Looking back, I can almost see the negative energy flowing like a sick river through these interactions.

This is exactly why I decided not to tell my boss how I really felt about her and why I let go of my fantasy of telling a certain coworker where she could shove her attitude. Because energy is never created or destroyed, I prefer to send as much optimistic light as I can out there. In my experience it is much more difficult to change negative energy to positive, so I figure the less of it that's out there, the better. I feel like it's my little part of eliminating the pollution--like photosynthesis!

Don't worry. Be happy. Seriously.

2009-02-18T13:51:00.001-08:00

My friend recently joined AAA. The cost of a year’s membership is less than one tow and includes a lot more than that. And when you live in Minnesota, it seems reasonable to me.

There are, however, a few things that seem less reasonable to me:

Insurance on your cell phone that you pay monthly and then pay a deductible when you use it…and you may only use it a certain number of times.
Protection the cable company offers in case you have to have a technician come out and service your wires or equipment you rent from them.
Warranties available for additional purchase on electronics (read: Best Buy)
Credit protection for purchase on credit cards, checking and savings accounts

While I try not to give in, there are times when I wonder: Should I have these things? What if my credit card gets stolen? What if my iPod quits working? What if I drop my cell phone in a toilet?

What-if land is a dangerous place to go. I consider it a necessary place to visit, like Washington D.C., but I definitely wouldn’t want to live there. Constantly processing outcomes that may never happen is a sure recipe for living with fear and worry.

There is a Swedish proverb that says “Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” If we let go of our fear and worry and live in the moment, most of those outcomes we were processing will never occur.

And really, would it be so bad if on occasion they did occur? I live for the day my cell phone runs out of power and I can’t be reached. Imagine a week!

Reh Dogg asks: "Why must I cry?" I do not ... I love Friday the 13th!

2009-02-13T14:35:00.006-08:00

On Friday the 13th I received the following things before 9 am:

A carnation
A Twix candy bar
A bagel with cream cheese
A loaf of bread

And I wore my Bon Jovi shirt. And one of my favorite bands is playing tonight...and I'm getting in for free. I have a three day weekend.

What I really want to know is what could make this day better? Oh I know! Watching Rey Dogg!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPIiOd3thu0

I'd like to return the box you've put me in

2009-02-12T16:34:00.005-08:00

Normally celebrity gossip makes me a little ill. But I was forced to watch this whole Joaquin Phoenix interview on Letterman at work today. And by forced, I mean literally my supervisor said, "B, come watch this."

There were a few different reactions to Joaquin Phoenix's behavior in our office (there were several people who found this newsworthy--I work in a newsroom). Most of them had something to do with a guess as to what drugs he was on or what mood disorder had suddenly surfaced in him. All I could discern was that he didn't want to talk a lot at that particular time, which was too bad for him considering he was being interviewed on national television.

(On a somewhat related note: The man's name is phoenix. Death and rebirth are part of the bird's very essence!)

When someone makes a change in their life, many people have something to say about it. What's unfortunate is that many times the things that people say are critical and are based in assumption. These judgments are unfair and most times unsolicited.

Change is hard enough without someone saying how you (in their opinion) have fucked up or are going to fuck up. A few of us are blessed to have great support systems to help us maneuver through our journey. But I would say that the majority of us deal with the former more than the latter. It's too bad.

I guess maybe too many people have decided their lives are perfect or too far gone for improvement and so they turn to someone else. Reserving judgment isn't an easy task and no one is perfect, but I think in this case we've all heard what I'm trying to say: If we can't say anything good, don't say anything at all.

Wind chill wars: Minnesota vs. the North Pole

2009-01-15T19:52:00.003-08:00

Reasons I love the -30 degrees in Minneapolis:

I saw a grown man dressed in a green and purple snow suit...on his way to work.
Bicyclists were riding down the street with ski goggles on.
My neighbors and I pushed my girlfriend's car back into its parking spot after it was too cold to take a jump!
My boss actually said the phrase "Now I'm an idiot, but at least I wear a hat."
Seeing the weather in Washington D.C. at 20 degrees and thinking, "Hey! Springtime! It's a tropical vacation!"
After "skiing" at Buck Hill, my friend made me feel her cold ass...it was all red and freezing! This was after 45 minutes of driving in a car with heated seats! Insane! (Isn't that where you stay the warmest? In the fatty part of your body? Biology is a myth.)
The coffee at work suddenly tastes delicious...at least it's warm.
My coworker had to have her husband bring her pants to work because she forgot to put them on under her ski pants.
I get to wear all of my scarves at once. It's like a true fashion show. All at once!
The sun is soooo bright and beautiful. It looks as though I could spend the day at the beach. But it is a yellow f*cking lie!!
Bragging rights...when I finally move somewhere warmer I'll always be one of those annoying people who says "You think this is cold..."

God bless Minnesota. It gives me a chance to test my optimism when even when it's suffering from frostbite.

Ho! Ho! Hope your mortgage payments are current!

2008-12-30T12:41:00.008-08:00

Those who know me know I'm not the biggest fan of the holidays, mostly because I can't stand the commercialization and pressure to spend with no thought to where we're actually going to come up with the money.

So instead of gifts this year, I spent my time feeding homeless and displaced families a holiday meal. This is the sixth year Rock Bottom (my former employer) has put on this event. Families sit down to a nice meal with linen tablecloths, kids get to hang out with Santa, and everyone gets shoes, jackets and toiletries. They also have a professional photo taken together.

Here is a link to some footage from that day:

http://gannett.a.mms.mavenapps.net/mms/rt/1/site/gannett-kare-3323-pub01-live/current/launch.html?maven_playerId=articleplayer&maven_referralPlaylistId=playlist&maven_referralObject=976387878

It's a nice time. I did it for Easter this year as well. I encourage everyone to do something like this around the holidays. It's the best kind of gift.

The next day I had to return to work. While our corporate office got the day after Christmas off, we had to come in. We had some of our busiest days on Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. What do I do for a living? I process mortgage foreclosures in Hennepin County. I suddenly understand the phrase There is no rest for the wicked.

I've always maintained that corporate responsibility is an oxymoron, but the juxtaposition between these two days was enough to show me that there is a lesser evil in the corporate world. And while I don't doubt that my employer has some charitable organization set up, I'm all about immediate gratification! I mean, c'mon! I'm an American, and it's Christmas after all!

Maybe Jesus drove a tow truck

2008-12-23T16:27:00.010-08:00

I've been called a Scrooge on more occasions than I care to admit. I don't participate in the Secret Santa/Snowflake whatever-ness at work. I've never been into decorating trees. And I certainly don't condone the atmosphere of consumer spending and greed that accompanies the holidays.

This year things have changed. I have a Christmas station on my Pandora. I made lefse. The words "I love the holidays!" have actually come out of my mouth. There are a lot of reasons, but the one I would like to share seems to be the most unlikely: I celebrated the Solstice at the impound lot after a snow emergency.

A friend's out-of-town guest left his car on a snow emergency street and it was towed. My friend had no experience with this, but apparently the thought If anyone has had her car towed in this city, it would be Rebecca ran through her head. I agreed to go with them, and I knew what I was in for -- but hey! The City Pages said that it was the best people watching in town, and that's one of my favorite pastimes.

We spent three hours in line jumping up and down,

dancing and chatting with our fellow towees.

When it's -10 F, this is how you keep warm:

One dude kept his car running and we each took turns hanging out in it. It was a party.

Some other girls swapped boots every now and then to keep their feet warm.

This lady shared her towel with a dude without a hat.

(Apparently all of this was very newsworthy; my friend saw me dancing on the news.)

The thing that struck me most was how everyone there was in such a good mood! Not only were we all standing outside in the bitter cold to pay $140 to get our cars out of the lot, but we were standing outside in the bitter cold for THREE hours!

Our feeling of camaraderie was so strong that I was almost sad to say goodbye when it came time to get our cars. And that, my friends, is why I love the holidays! The most unlikely situations seem to be blessed.

Pardon our dust--this area of your world is closed for remodeling

2008-12-16T16:27:00.009-08:00

This past weekend I had the opportunity to visit the San Diego Zoo. My favorite animals were the elephants, the black panther, and of course the hippopotamus. There were some cute baby bears there, which inevitably brought out the awww-how-cute in me.

(I'm not even going to try to tangent on zoos...let's just say it all depends on the personality of the animal. Hey, look at reality TV! I don't fit in, but there are several humans that do.)

Seeing these animals born in captivity made me wonder what natural habitat actually means. After a few generations of grizzly bears, will they even know that they might not belong there? The zoo keepers are doing their best to mimic their natural surroundings. Except for that weird stirring of instinct, what's to tell them that it's not their home?

Coincidentally I finished The City of Ember during that same week. It's a young adult novel, and the premise is this: A city was built underground to last 200 years in preparation for some disaster. During that time the instructions (given to the mayor to be passed down to each successor) were lost. Because of this, the people forgot where they came from while supplies dwindled from their limited storage. I won't spoil the ending.

What if the world we live in isn't really where we belong? What if we're living in a zoo? I wonder what would happen if we woke up tomorrow and things had drastically changed: the trees had purple leaves, the sky was green, and oil and water mixed (which I heard has happened). Would people even notice?

My friend once said that if a bomb went off in the street by our office most people would just keep working. I don't know if that's true, but the conversation took place on a day that a port-a-pottie was swinging from a crane about three stories above the ground. No one looked at it twice.

I don't know when we all stopped paying attention, but I'm guessing it's about the same time we started paying $1 for a bottle of tap water. We're all text messaging and listening to podcasts on our iPods while driving 65 mph down the freeway. (I cringe when I say I'm guilty of this -- except I was doing about 80.)

What gives me hope is that I'm running into more and more people who are aware of their surroundings. And this encourages me to do the same. Often I say I want to be around anyone who will make me a better person. They fall under this category. I guess I just want to do the same for others. So let's all keep our eyes open together: maybe pigs really can fly.

What kind of movie do you want to star in?

2008-12-06T15:50:00.005-08:00

Moving sucks. Helping someone move sucks too, but it's the only way they'll help you move when you inevitably will have to endure the unfortunate adventure. But on this particular day, it wasn't such a mundane experience. A friend and I were driving in a giant moving truck down 35W at night when we saw lights flashing on the side of the road. She started to move over and slow down, when bam! We hit a couch in the middle of the road.

My friend's reaction was pretty natural..."I did the right thing right?!?" But really? A couch in the middle of the highway? Who saw that coming?

Later on in the evening we were driving down 94W to return me home and in the distance we saw a semi in front of us with its doors swinging wide open and no cargo in the back. And it was still barreling down the road at 55 mph. We were about to drive past the driver and flag him down when I noticed the bio hazard diamond on the side of the truck. Do I need to repeat that there was no cargo?

This all happened October 1. But it wasn't until I played Halo this weekend (I know - I played video games?) that these events came back to the front of my consciousness. Doesn't this remind you of something you would see in Resident Evil? I think so. And I'm sure these sort of things happen a lot more often than just once in a while. I just haven't been looking for them.

Many things are like that: hidden until you look for them. Life is what you make of it, after all.

I'd like you to meet my long-time lover Minneapolis.

2008-11-30T10:10:00.017-08:00

The past two weekends I have been entertaining out-of-town guests. It's something I enjoy doing because I love to cook, drink, eat, dance and meander, all of which I have a free pass to do when friends are in town. (I can't do laundry -- I have company!) Add that to the fact that I love showing people around Minneapolis, and it makes for ridiculous fun.

The thing is these are new friends. And they aren't from another state; they're from another country: Sweden. I'm not a competitive sort on many levels, but when it comes to my home I'm pretty damn proud. My city can definitely kick your city's ass. But that's when it comes from the U.S. You're from Europe? Your city is 1000 years old? Suddenly I feel like I do when people start talking wine -- way out of my league.

But Minneapolis took care of it for me. One of my new favorite local bands, Just.Live, happened to have a gig last weekend. (They don't play in town often these days.) It suddenly became spring in late November making it easy for me to show off the sculpture garden and the great walks around the lakes. Did you know the Foshay Tower has an observation deck? There may not be mountains in Minneapolis, but that was the next best thing. And I love how easy it is to wander into a bar in Northeast with absolutely no plan and end up heading to see Alex Rossi and company at a venue even I've never been to.

So now it's Sunday and it snowed. I couldn't have dreamed up a more perfect way to spend the weekend and my friend doesn't want to leave. I gotta say I don't blame her. Minneapolis makes life pretty effortless. It's no wonder I ended staying here for seven years.

When I paint this into larger brushstrokes I see how real relationships are effortless as well. I'm not saying there aren't times when you want to call it quits with friends or family (Minneapolis winters are no picnic), but when it's good it happens without trying. You don't have to speak. You can read and paint without a worry what the other is doing, just enjoying each other's presence. Just comfortable.

My security blanket is on fire

2008-11-24T17:41:00.004-08:00

On the eve of the union election at work I have become painfully aware of uncertainty. Will we vote to be in the union or not? For months I have been telling myself how important it is to be comfortable being uncomfortable, and I gotta say I thought I was getting pretty good at it.

My friend and I were talking about words or concepts that are meaningless. Things like "normal" and "perfect" were two we could both agree on. The words mean something so different to everyone. And tonight I wonder: What is certainty? What is comfort? Are these words so relative that they are also nebulous?

What are we certain of? The old adage tells us only taxes and death. What provides us comfort? I would argue that many of the things we think provide us comfort are only habits long formed.

People will stay in an unsatisfying relationship with their dentist, spouse, hairdresser, etc. just because the thought of leaving is too much of a hassle. We cook the same six recipes because our brains don't have to work to choose new ones, remember to buy ingredients and go through different motions in the kitchen. The more I think about the things that provide me with what I thought was comfort, the more I realize maybe I've just been doing them because I've always been doing them.

I read a story about how an old spiritual teacher would tie his cat up while he was leading meditation to keep it from bothering others. The teacher died but the cat lived for a few more years, during which time it would always be tied up during meditation. When the cat died no one would meditate because they believed the cat needed to be tied up in order for meditation to be effective. They never knew or had forgotten the reason it was tied up to begin with.

Being comfortable has led to a lot of laziness. Asking why we do things and why something makes us feel the way it does may take a little work, but is well worth it. We may suddenly see why life is so beautiful and how little we need for it to be that way.

Will you sign my yearbook?

2008-10-28T20:37:00.003-07:00

I started listening to my iPod again earlier this week. One of the first songs it went to on random was "Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson. I had to laugh a little at myself for how much angst I had as a teenager. But it got me thinking...and then I read my cousin's note on Facebook about adolescence.

I often mutter the phrase "You couldn't pay me enough money to go through high school again." I like to think If only I knew then what I know now. But lately I have to wonder how much things have changed:

When getting ready for a house-warming party, I chastised myself for wondering what I should wear. My friend called me a few minutes later with the same question.
My friends and I still analyze the notes (emails, texts) we get from friends and romantic interests. Gossip and boys are still at the top of the order of most of our conversations.
I know where the cute boys work in the skyway. (Again with the boys!)
Try as I might, I still care what people think of me. I don't think I'm alone here.

As I sat trying to write some poignant advice to my cousin from someone who had "been there" I realized that maybe I still am there. Yeah sure, I might not be teased for being a band nerd anymore (well not teased often anyway) but the self-centered, adolescent mentality that everyone else is thinking something about you is still there. This reminds me of two things I read somewhere:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
2. What other people think of you is none of your business.

Baseball will save my soul.

2008-09-22T05:25:00.002-07:00

Today is the Autumn Equinox. There are equal amounts of sunlight and darkness all around the planet today. That sort of balance encourages me to seek out more beauty, life and love. So...

...I am going to two Twins games this week! It is about time! I have been to 16 games this year but I think these will be the best ones of the season. Like many Americans, I am going to forget all the problems in this world with beer and baseball. I am hoping to avoid the words economy, gas prices, and any mention of the current mortgage "crisis."

Let's go Twinkies...October here we come!!

Fitness begins in the brain - or - Can you believe the jokers at the beach?

2008-09-21T18:32:00.002-07:00

Yesterday at the beach this dude was stretching for about 15 minutes before he went into the water to swim. Of course I was checking him out. He looked pretty serious about his craft. He got into the water and started the front crawl--his arms were flailing about and his head was completely out of the water swaying around like a small child lost at a mall. It was ridiculous. And hilarious.

Today two dudes in their underwear ran by us on the beach. One with an orange sweatband on his head, the other with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Both were a bit out of shape. Pretty sure it was done as a dare.

What this really brought to my attention is that many people might look serious at first glance about something (in this case fitness) but after considering them further really they don't have the discipline or love to give it the attention it deserves.

While I enjoy the feeling of getting a lot of things accomplished at once, I think that multitasking might be bad on some levels. Nothing gets the love and attention it deserves--kind of like talking on the phone to someone who is watching TV or surfing the web. I baked bread tonight and gave it all my attention and love. It tastes fantastic. I think more of life would taste wonderful if we exercised discipline and gave it the care it needs.

This blog is brought to you by FCI

2008-09-16T10:23:00.007-07:00

Last week I sent a message to my friend on Facebook telling him how I really didn't like the desert because the only experience I had with it was neon lights and soul-sucking gambling. Since then many of the advertisements on my page have had something to do with gambling addiction hotlines.

Last night I was told by a friend that Bert's Bees products are actually owned by Clorox. We then discussed how sooner or later the air we breath in Steven's Square (or Phillips or LynLake) will be brought to us by some corporate sponsor -- most likely Best Buy or 3M.

This morning I read that the new Twins stadium will be called Target Field. (For now I will just ignore the fact that it was mostly funded with public money. That's for another rant.)

You know how people freak out about our children being desensitized to violence at a young age? What about them being desensitized to advertising? I know some people that don't even notice that Volkswagen paid for product placement in the Bourne movies, and the company had corresponding car commercials!

Being a journalism major gives me a small window into the psychology of advertising and it frightens me that some people don't notice the barrage of commercials, billboards, and mind-reading advertising.

(Side note: If you read The DaVinci Code -- one of the most popular books in the past years-- did you notice the product placement in it? IN A BOOK???? Ack!)

I have challenged myself to rethink the attitude I have about wants and needs. I think this is one of the only ways to battle the steep mind control we are up against.

I still consult my ethics textbooks from freshman year

2008-09-13T21:21:00.003-07:00

September 13, 2008 - Saturday

I have a new stylist. It was a big deal to find her. I went to three other ones before I stumbled upon her almost literally on my morning walk. It only took a year and a half after my sister moved.

A lot of people spend more time concerning themselves with who does their hair than their doctor. Did you ever stop and think about how weird it would be if you applied the logistics of health insurance to other things in your life?

"I really would like to cut my hair/take a shower/make some dinner but I don't have insurance. I'm not really sure how much it would cost but I know it must be terribly expensive because these people with fancy degrees on the wall keep telling me it is."

Who decided health should be a commodity? People have become so greedy that they are assaulting me on the beach with their guerilla marketing. What makes me so angry is how intimidating the whole "health" world is. I love to bike and really enjoy talking to people about it but there are so many elitists that don't want to share it. The same goes for veggies. Why wouldn't you want to make these things more attractive to everyone? Why are we keeping this such a secret? The most good for the most people, right?
9:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

"1984" scares me, or Nobody said life is fair

2008-09-08T21:21:00.001-07:00

September 8, 2008 - Monday

When I was younger I had to earn all of my money to buy a car. My younger sisters both had cars at 16 and no, they didn't buy them. I paid for college myself. I don't want to know how they paid for their educations.

I'm not trying to whine--I'm over all that. I've just been curious as to why exactly it was OK to help them and not me. And this curiosity leads me to look at a bigger picture and ask:

Why is it that much of the conservative party will use big government to bail us out of economic crisis but not environmental or social crisis? What makes one more special than the other? Why is it OK on one hand to help out ailing banks with unethical lending practices and on the other hand watch as food prices and obesity rates soar and fast food prices go down?

Bail out the rich and leave the masses to wallow in their reality TV and Taco Bell. I guess I just have to take comfort in the fact that not everyone thinks like certain Republicans.

My peripheral vision is better than most

2008-09-07T21:20:00.001-07:00

September 7, 2008 - Sunday

Sunday mornings:
Coffee steaming out of my chipped cup
Rain dripping off the trees
Flannel sheets
Eggs at 11 am
Ben Harper, Dave Matthews, The Cure
Newspaper--the paper and ink kind
Sweet melancholy like the salty taste of tears

You can still see someone approach when your eyes are closed. It's just their shadow.

I got my Google degree in plastic surgery...

2008-09-04T21:19:00.001-07:00

September 4, 2008 - Thursday

Aren't you interested in maybe getting liposuction or a nose job? Perhaps I could offer you a facelift? I mean, I don't have a ton of experience yet, but this is how you learn, right?

I experimented a little on my cat. Unfortunately he died, but it's not like humans and cats are the same! It's probably way easier to work on a more complex and large creature. And besides, I spent a weekend really studying up on everything I could find on the Internet. I have to be a genius by now. At the very least I am a skilled novice. You should let me give it a shot!

****
There is not a lot I really like about Sarah Palin. I have to admit I'm not trying very hard, but I don't think I should have to. No one who has such little experience should be in line to be our president! It shouldn't even be an option.

You know those job descriptions we look at but know we aren't qualified for? Those six-figure income occupations we might get when we're ten years older and have another college degree? Or maybe just belonging to a secret society is enough these days.

My neighborhood sold its soul to the devil

2008-09-03T21:18:00.001-07:00

September 3, 2008 - Wednesday

Last night I went outside and all I could hear was helicopters and low-flying planes. The sirens kept me up; I had to shut my windows on a lovely summer/fall evening. This morning I had to switch sidewalks three times to avoid road blocks, and I counted 19 cop cars, vans and swat vehicles in a three block radius.

A round of applause for the RNC--they sure know how to turn every place they invade into a war zone in a matter of days, if not hours.

In another dimension this was written last Tuesday

2008-08-30T21:18:00.001-07:00

August 30, 2008 - Saturday

My life is full of outrageous characters and funny stories. My sister jumped on the bar of her cruise ship and belted out "The Star Spangled Banner" after a group of her friends were giving her a hard time about Americans not knowing their national anthem. My friend Johanna's solution to vitamin deficiency is "Eat a fucking orange." One of my bosses painted a compass on his floor and labeled the different directions: basement, kitchen, living room and wall.

But my curiosity is peaked by the events that don't happen and the characters I don't meet. I had this great idea to sun bathe at the fountain at the government center over my lunch break. It's a fairly crowded downtown area with a lot of business professionals. What kind of stir would me stripping my business casual uniform in favor of more suitable attire for the weather create? Although I doubt I would really be breaking any laws, I most certainly would be asked to cover up at one point or another. Or maybe Big Brother would surprise me and it would go off without a hitch and I would get a savage tan on my lunch hour..

Here are just a few people I would like to get to know: the dude jogging while wearing the button-down shirt, the guy with a weight vest power walking, and the mid-30sish gentleman roller-skating in a prom dress and sweat bands. And this was all just around the lake. Imagine all the other characters out there.

Fear is the path to the Dark Side

2008-08-29T21:17:00.001-07:00

August 29, 2008 - Friday

Without getting too into politics (is it even possible these days?) I want to offer my top three things I love/hate about the RNC in St. Paul this year.

I hate:
--that the normally chill people at my job are freaking out like it's the second coming and that the normally insane people are say "Republican National...wha? Oh that's nice." like they're talking about a new Arby's sandwich or something
.--Fat Cats. And I'm not talking about Claude either.
--That I have to work harder to ensure that my deliveries don't destroy the delicate balance that Homeland Security has created around St. Paul.

I love:
--that the bars are open until 4 a.m. (Not that I'm into that sort of thing!)
--that The Daily Show is coming! Check out this billboard they have up outside of the airport:

--that after it's all over maybe people in Minnesota will be so turned off by Republicans they'll have the good sense to vote Democrat!

Can you really get a pedicure with your guy friends?

2008-08-16T21:16:00.001-07:00

August 16, 2008 - Saturday

You know what is so sad is that so many of us women were brought up on a steady diet of Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. Maybe the former had a pretty lousy life before her prince charming, but she ran her house and really didn't need a man. Just a better estate lawyer. And Ariel? Well she was just a dreamer. All that natural curiosity and all she wanted was to make out with a prince? I doubt it…they should have started that movie when she kissed Eric so that we could see what an amazing woman she became on land because she never stopped asking questions. She could have been a great writer or at the very least a life guard.

Why were so many girls shown that happily ever after is just the wedding and nothing after? Isn't that when your life is supposed to begin? The falling is fun but the real shit begins after the fireworks finale.

Or maybe for a second we should consider what life would be like if all the women in this world realized they didn't need men the way the once thought they did. I don't mean that we don't need them at all. I think that they can be wonderful friends and lovers if held at the right distance.

I think that women are the masters of giving great advice and very seldom following it for themselves. So where does that leave us? We tell each other how to be in a relationship, we tell each other to kick that man to the curb, we tell each other that we'll be there, but so many of us won't take it to heart. And the others say it half-heartedly.

But what about women friends? Who can you trust? I've heard if they aren't trying to steal your clothes they're trying to steal your man. And I guess maybe you can make a case for that. But if we kept our guard down a little bit and were completely honest instead of showing half our hand we could be so much more close. It's true you need to give trust to get it.

Why do women work against each other when together we could easily rule the world? Of course I think evolutionarily it boils down to who is going to get the better man for breeding. But when you put it all down on paper, women have to be everything to everyone almost all the time. We have to be the career woman, amazing mom, sex goddess, dedicated athlete, accountant, gourmet chef, beauty queen and entertainer. And that's just Monday. What about us? What about all of our passion and love for the world? Why wouldn't we take more time to develop and cultivate in each other the things we all care for? I mean, c'mon ladies!

God bless the BBC, PBS and the The Daily Show

2008-08-10T21:16:00.001-07:00

August 10, 2008 - Sunday

This weekend I watched some of the best athletes in the world smack around a volleyball on the beach and make swimming thousands of meters look like fun. I love the Olympics. I'm not the competitive sort, but I really get into the idea that the entire world can look to something at the same time (that isn't a tragedy) and come together.

This summer Olympics are the first I have watched in years. In fact, I think the last time I even remember anything about the Olympics is Kerri Strug and holy sh*t! Was that really 1996? Youch. I guess school and working constantly will do that to you.

I noticed something that maybe I should've noticed awhile ago. At first I thought that because I am in the media world maybe I am more sensitive to it. But after asking my friend from Norway, maybe not. Is it just me or does the American media have the most arrogant air about them?

(I want to put a disclaimer here. I love my country. I am proud to be an American. I know that might sound cheesy, but I truly am. That being said, there are a lot of things I am embarrassed about and media, namely television, is one of them. That and McDonalds.)

I want to see *all* the athletes competing! I want to see every one of them. How many times can you show me the American competing? Aren't there a few other countries out there somewhere? Has it always been this way? (The idealist in me says no, but the realist dwelling in my basement shakes his head "Yes you idiot!") I guess that's just reason number 4,217 to kill your television.

At least it wasn’t a Taser death

2008-07-27T21:15:00.001-07:00

July 27, 2008 - Sunday

Yesterday morning I stepped outside to a cop car and ambulance parked in the alley. At first I wasn't going to ask what happened, but because my neighbor is new to the area I felt complled to assure the city was safe.

I approached the officer and asked if something bad happened in my building. He balked a bit at telling me but ended up saying that some guy beat up his girlfriend. I thanked him and told my neighbor that we didn't have anything to worry about--it was just a domestic dispute.

It didn't dawn on me until a little later how tragic it was. It's awful that a woman was hurt by her lover. What's even worse is how quickly I filed it into the category of "Not My Problem."

I wonder how often I do that without even thinking about it. I like to think I'm an optimistic, upbeat person. Is that because I ignore a lot of reality or because I look at the good side of it?

I thought Mel Gibson was convincing in "Conspiracy Theory"

2008-07-24T21:15:00.001-07:00

July 24, 2008 - Thursday

Today I drank a Coca Cola at work. I was trying to explain my forbidden love affair with it when my friend asked me if I would like to eat an entire cup of brown sugar because, really, that's all it is. I responded that I thought it was high-fructose corn syrup. Her eyes got wide and with a very serious look she said, "Corn is so horrible. Corn is the root of all evil."

After one of the best laughs I have had in a long time -- you know the kind where there are tears streaming down your face, your stomach aches and you're gasping for air -- I asked what the hell she could possibly mean. She proceeds to tell me about a PBS documentary (called King Corn I believe) that she saw. It told of all the ills of corn and how there was some sort of marketing shift in the '70s to brainwash all of us into thinking it was good. "It's man made," she said solemnly.

This launched me back into a place I haven't been in a while. How is it possible to be socially concious when there are so many things wrong with the world? How much of it is hype and how much is truly threatening?

I like to adopt the Mark Twain way of looking at things: "I've known a lot of troubles in my time -- and most of them never happened." Resolve not to worry. I'm not saying we shouldn't all have our causes we truly believe in, but I think it is too easy to get overwhelmed by all that could be wrong. And when that happens nothing gets done.